Letters from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

#89 - EVERYTHING IS MIN HASHOMAYIM.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ד' פ' יתרו, י"ז שבט, יומא דהילולא של מוהרא"ש זצוק"ל, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


Thank you for helping the Yeshiva with your donation for the rent. In the merit of tzedakah may you succeed in everything you do.


I know you are feeling guilty over the fact that Habachur …… Kallah broke off the Shidduch; everyone feels his pain, though it must bother you more since you played the role of Shadchan; therefore, I beg you, don’t take it to heart, the entire incident is Min Hashomayim.


I want to strengthen you to continue your attempts to suggest Shidduchim; especially for ……, he is a wonderful boy, and almost like a child to me. Likewise, the girl is also a good girl, and why this had to happen is beyond our control or understanding. The only explanation can be, that Hashem wanted this to occur.


People will certainly now gossip and speak Lashon Hora; concoct reasons, and manufacture stories why this happened, but take no notice. Continue with your virtuous deeds, that is what Hashem wants from you now.


I request once again: don’t feel guilty. You are not at fault, the Bachur isn’t at fault, and lastly the girl isn’t at fault. This was a decree from heaven, and we must accept it with love and continue our efforts to carry through with more Shidduchim.


Thank you for accepting my words of Chizuk.

#88 - HOW DOES ONE WORK ON THEIR BAD MIDDOS?
Good Middos

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ד' פ' יתרו, י"ז שבט, יומא דהילולא של מוהרא"ש זצוק"ל, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


I received your letter.


Take the עצה the Rebbe advised his Talmid R’ Shmuel Aizik Z”l; the Rebbe once remarked to him, (Chai Maharan 441) “Because of some bad blood is it worth losing this world and the next? Instead, cry out to Hashem.”


Everyone is born with bad Middos, and our Tafkid is to work on them, and through doing so become a better person. The reason a person thinks he is entitled to everything, and can do no wrong, is because he still retains the bad blood he was born with; he hasn’t made the effort to work on his Middos yet. The Rebbe gave us the עצה of התבודדות; one should empty his heart out to Hashem, and discuss exactly what is bothering him. How this bad Middah is hindering his life etc., and this is how he will eventually be able to conquer it. For ex. if one is an extremely irritable person, and every small thing causes him to explode in anger, once it passes, and he realizes how he just behaved, he should cry out to Hashem to help him overcome it.


Maharosh would relate; before the war there were Bochurim from Poland who were visiting Uman, and when the war erupted, they were stranded in Uman indefinitely. Being that they had nowhere to live, they made themselves comfortable in the Kloiz. This would annoy the Shamesh terribly, and he would constantly drive them out of the Shul in anger. People then heard the Shamesh crying at the Rebbe’s Tzion, full of remorse “Ribonoi Shel Oilam, what do I want from these poor Bochurim? Why do I constantly get so annoyed at them?” They thought the Shamesh had changed his ways, but this would only repeat itself again and again. He would rage at them, and then cry to Hashem full of regret. Maharosh would conclude: “This is a true Breslever Chassid; even when he loses himself repeatedly, he turns to Hashem, and each time begs ‘Hashem help me be able to control myself’”.


This is the way to tackle your negative character traits; cry out to Hashem. At first this is extremely difficult, no one finds it pleasant to confront his flaws; it is easier for him to stick to simple Tefillos than admit to his faults. But once one breaks through this barrier, and reveals to Hashem all his imperfections, his impure thoughts, and his bad Middos, he will slowly work to triumph over them. By finding a few minutes every day, and begging Hashem “Hashem, what will become of me? I have this terrible Midda, and therefore did so and so,” he will become a better person.


This is what the Rebbe meant when he told R’ Shmuel Aizik “Because of some bad blood is it worth losing this world and the next? Instead, cry out to Hashem.” Defeating one’s bad natures is a challenging battle, but surrendering to them means living a challenging life.


.

#87 - REGARDING ‘NAIL POLISH’.

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ד' פ' יתרו, י"ז שבט, יומא דהילולא של מוהרא"ש זצוק"ל, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear beloved….


Thank you for helping the Yeshiva with your donation for the rent; in the merit of Tzedakah may you be blessed in all your endeavors.


You asked me in your wife’s name, if it is permitted for her to apply ‘nail polish’; the question is, does she want to know, or is it you who wants an answer? If she isn’t interested in my response, in other words she wants to continue doing it anyways, then it is not worth to put up a fight. Rather take a step back and avoid unnecessary conflict. However, if she truly wants to know the right way to conduct herself, then tell her the Rosh Yeshiva said ‘rather not’.


Maharosh clearly directed women in the Kehillah to refrain from doing so; for numerous reasons; but if she anyways will do so, it’s not important enough to argue over.


Dear…., be strong and encourage your wife; live together in harmony as Maharosh taught you, without חומרות or פרישות etc. ensure she feels beloved.


Many times, this comes from a difficult upbringing, therefore, they want to show they are now ‘independent’ etc.


I am very pleased with how you conduct yourself.

#86 - הפצה INVIGORATES A PERSON.
Hafutza

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ג' פ' יתרו, ט"ז שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…..


If you are feeling confused and don’t know in which direction to turn, adopt the Rebbe’s עצה of התבודדות – speaking to Hashem in your mother tongue. Reveal all your thoughts and uncertainties, just as if you would be conversing with a trusted friend; ask him for clarity on how you should conduct yourself.


R’ Nosson related (Sichas Haran, 238); while Davening Maariv, the Rebbe once heard a Yid mutter the words of "ותקננו בעצה טובה מלפניך" without any concentration; the Rebbe was disturbed by this and explained; “the words of  "ותקננו בעצה טובה מלפניך" are a powerful Tefilla, and should be said with extra concentration.” The origin of many problems is, that one does not have the clarity how to conduct himself, he has conflicting thoughts how to proceed with his problems, therefore, one must constantly Daven to Hashem: ותקננו בעצה טובה מלפניך, Ribonoi Shel Oilam, enlighten me with the wisdom, to know how to conduct myself.”


Lend a hand, in whichever way possible, to spread the Rebbe’s עצות to the world; this will bring you happiness in your day to day life. As the Rebbe says (Sefer Hamiddos, Ois Simcha) “One who spreads a Tzaddik’s light, is Zoche to happiness;” take notice of all the individuals who play a role in הפצה; they are always joyful and uplifted.


Thus, I request from you my dear Talmid…, now, during such a meaningful time; right before Maharosh’s Yartzeit, start engaging in ,הפצה and drawing people closer to Hashem. By doing so you will also merit to be happy. Get rid of your misery and depression, enough of petty Machlokes and politics, it’s time to stop only thinking of yourself; start finding ways to help others.


Tonight, all the מפיצים will come together; all those who abide by the Rebbe’s request that we ‘water the trees’ (see Sippurei Maasos, story 3), to the Yartzeit Seuda of Maharosh, Zecher Tzaddik Livrocha. What can I say; whenever I think of Maharosh I become so happy and calm; I recall everything that Maharosh went through during his lifetime, and despite it all, he remained so strong, and his only desire was to strengthen others. This gives me the encouragement to continue with everything I do; strengthen myself, and others.


I hope to see you Iy”h.

#85 - BE KIND TO EVERYONE, WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN.
Chesed

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ב' פ' יתרו, חמשה עשר בשבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…..


Today is a special day; Chamisha Asar Bishvat. There are many lessons we can learn from the trees; we see, that although they endure a harsh winter and seem dead already, they have withered and lost their leaves and fruit, come spring, they bloom to life, and start blossoming. Internalize the message; it’s time to awaken from your deep slumber, and start anew.


Dear…., look at the ground, even though it is constantly being stepped upon, it still produces impressive trees, and delicious fruit; remember, continue being kind to everyone, even to those who don’t reciprocate.


The holy Rebbe says (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 2, Siman 72): “A person must accustom himself to be like the ground; the ground isn’t insulted when people step on her, throw garbage at her, or mistreat her etc.; the earth still continues yielding fruit, and whatever else is planted therein. Similarly, one must be a kind and giving person, even if he isn’t always treated fairly; he is stepped on, and spat at; despite this, he should continue with his good deeds.”


The Yartzeit Seuda for Maharosh will take place Iy”h tomorrow evening; we will strengthen ourselves with the wonders and miracles we saw by Maharosh. R’ Nosson says (Sichas Haran 249) “The most important miracles we witnessed by the holy Rebbe was his ability to bring Yidden closer to Hashem. Every time someone came to the Rebbe with the desire to grow in Avodas Hashem, one could see how he would transform completely.” This is what we will review and pass down to our future generations; they should know what greatness we had. Maharosh sacrificed everything for fifty years in a row, only to help other Yidden; nothing would deter him, even if people stepped on him, or spat at him etc.


Attach yourself to the holy Rebbe; the Rebbe once remarked to R’ Nosson: “You are already secure in my sack”’, R’ Nosson replied “Rebbe, fasten it, so I shouldn’t be able to escape.” This is what we must remember; to connect to the holy Rebbe, and remain in Ehrliche surroundings; we must flee from the Yetzer Hora who tries to distract us with עצבות and עצלות. The Rebbe says (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 1, Siman 155) “The only reason one refrains from coming to a Tzaddik, is because his depression restricts him.”


Daven to Hashem to remain attached to the holy Rebbe and you will see the blessings it brings.


 

#84 - REJOICE WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE TZEDAKAH.
Tzedukeh

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ב' פ' יתרו, חמשה עשר בשבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


Never banish a needy person from your door. Even if you don’t have a single penny to give him, at least invite him in and offer him a drink etc., excuse yourself that you don’t have the ability to give at the moment, and you could even say “believe me, if I would have, I would certainly give you.” By explaining gently, you will merit great blessings, as Chazal say (Bava Basra 10:): “One who asks for understanding from the beggar, merits to be blessed with eleven Berachos.”


Teach your children the greatness of Tzedakah; we see that Shmuel’s father raised him with compassion for the needy, as Chazal relate (Yerushalmi Peah, 37:): “Shmuel’s father gave him pennies to distribute to the poor;” when someone knocks on your door for Tzedakah, send your children with a contribution.


Raise you children never to turn someone away; if it happens that you don’t have strength, or if you are busy and can’t open the door; don’t teach them to lie and say “my father isn’t home”; firstly it’s detrimental to Chinuch, and secondly, you don’t want your words to Chas Vesholom materialize, and you should be absent from your home for whichever reason. Instead instruct them to say “my father cannot answer the door now.”


Maharosh would constantly review the Zohar which states (Vayeira, 104.): "בשעתא דקודשא בריך הוא רחים ליה לבר נש", when Hashem wants to show his love for a person, "משדר ליה דורונא", he sends him a gift, "ומאן איהו מסכנא", in the form of a poor person; "בגין דיזכי ביה", he grants the person the opportunity to give Tzedaka, so he can merit a bountiful of blessings.


Thus, when someone knocks at your door, or should it be in the Beis Hamedresh, or at a chasunah etc. rejoice with the knowledge that Hashem loves you, and expressed it by sending you a gift – a poor person.


Have you learnt a Daf Gemara yet today? Have you done anything worthwhile yet? Don’t find excuses; seize the opportunity and learn a Daf Gemara. If you can’t comprehend what you are saying, say the words without understanding; through doing so you will merit to wipe away your sins.


I beg you; don’t allow misery or depression to creep into your thoughts, expel them as soon as they try to enter. You have complained enough already; now it’s the time to start thanking Hashem for the miracles he grants you.


Good night.

#83 - TALKING TO HASHEM CALMS A PERSON.
Hisbodedus

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ב' פ' יתרו, חמשה עשר בשבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


I received your letter.


If you truly want to see a way out of your difficult situation, there is only one solution; take the עצה of the holy Rebbe – התבודדות.


On one hand התבודדות takes very little effort, and it’s free; yet, on the other hand, it is an extremely hard thing to accomplish, because one must have תמימות ופשיטות and strongly believe that Hashem is listening to every word. When one doesn’t have an unwavering faith in Hashem; just davening Shachris, Mincha, and Maariv is a burden for him, then התבודדות is definitely a struggle.


The only reason a person finds Davening insignificant, is because his Emunah is lacking; as the Rebbe says (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 1, Siman 62): “If it would be completely clear in a person’s mind, that while he Davens, Hashem is by his side, and he is listening to his every word, then he would certainly Daven the way he is supposed to, and concentrate the entire time.”


Talking to Hashem reinforces a person’s Emunah, and the more one engages therein, the stronger his faith becomes. He starts sensing Hashem’s presence, and his anxieties and delusions disappear. If you start talking to Hashem, your worries will dissipate, and your mind will become clear. It is wise of you not to share all your fears with your wife, she has no benefit from being aware of your weaknesses.


You write that you never shared your inner turmoil with anyone, since you are ashamed of it; it isn’t advisable for you to share it with other people, instead, unburden yourself to Hashem, tell him: “Hashem, my head is spinning with frightening thoughts, I’m worried something will happen to me at any given moment; I feel so anxious, I’m not even sure about what exactly. Hashem help me get rid of my painful thoughts; I know this is the Yetzer Hora, who simply wants to distract me with baseless fears, however, he has taken my mind hostage, and I cannot focus on anything else.


Hashem, help me believe with a steadfast faith, that you are always next to me, and nothing could happen without you decreeing so from above. Help me feel your presence, and have complete trust in you; help me not be bothered with what others say about me.


Help me remember there is no existence without you; help me in the merit of all the Tzaddikm who sanctified your holy name, in the Zchus of R’ Shimon Bar Yochai; in the Zchus of R’ Yitzchok Luria Ashkenazi; in the Zchus of R’ Yisroel Baal Shem Tov; in the Zchus of R’ Nachman M’Breslev; in the Zchus of R’ Nosson M’Breslev, and in the Zchus of Rabeinu Eliezer Shlomo M’Breslev. יהיו לרצון אמרי פי והגיון לבי לפניך ה' צורי וגואלי, אמן כן יהי רצון.


It gladdens me to hear from you, send me more letters.

#82 - THE GREATNESS OF HELPING THE YESHIVA.

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ד' פ' יתרו, י"ז שבט, יומא דהילולא של מוהרא"ש זצוק"ל, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs…


Thank you for helping the Yeshiva with your donation for the rent. In the merit of tzedakah may you succeed in everything you do.


I want to express my gratitude for your husband’s assistance with the Yeshiva; he collects money from the Talmidim every month in order to cover the rent of the Yeshiva and school; which together cost me almost twenty thousand dollars monthly.


Countless Bochurim’s lives were transformed after being in Yeshiva, and numerous families were established in the merit of the Yeshiva. I would never be able to accomplish what I do, if the burden of the rent would be swaying over my head.


You and your husband share a Zchus in all the Torah and Tefilla, that emerge from these walls; I bless you with Nachas from your children, and may Hashem grant you everything you need.


Regards from your husband, whenever he has a spare moment during the day, he comes over to Yeshiva and utilizes his time to learn.

#81 - WITH TEFILLA AND PATIENCE YOU WILL MERIT SALVATION.

בעזרת ה' יתברך – יום א' פרשת משפטים, כ"א שבט, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear….


Thank you for your contribution for the rent; in the merit of Tzedakah may you have success in all your endeavors.


It truly gladdened me to hear the news that your wife Baruch Hashem feels much better lately. The fact that she sees improvement is certainly in the merit of both of your Tefillos, and her constant crying and beseeching Hashem to recover.


I also Davened for her to have a Refuah Shleima; she should manage to crawl out of her misery and depression and return to her former self, as a healthy wife and mother.


Remember! Only Tefilla and patience!


May Hashem bless you with success in all your endeavors.

#80 - REMAIN STRONG, EVEN AFTER YOUR KALLAH BROKE OFF THE SHIDDUCH.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear…..


It pains me deeply to hear that your Kallah broke off the Shidduch.


I beg you dear…, remain strong with all the strength you possess; I guarantee, if you stay strong in the face of this Nisoyan, and accept it with love, you will merit an even better Shidduch than the first.


I know how hurtful this must be for you; you were so excited to get married, after waiting for this for so many years, and now you received such a blow; however, I beg you dear…., don’t despair, and you will certainly find something better.


This world is a constant struggle; everyone is tested with difficult Nisyonas to see where a person will turn בעת צרה. Will he cry out to hashem, or will he Chas Vesholom lose hope? If a person perseveres then he is Zoche to wonders and miracles.


Thus, I beg you dear…..., your pain is my pain; my wife and I haven’t slept all week; our Tefillos are that you should stay strong despite your anguish, continue learning and Davening, and not abandon your good deeds and assistance for the Yeshiva.


Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of what happened, because this was also your Shidduch. As the Rebbe says (Chai Maharan, 595) “Everyone has a certain number of Shidduchim, and every Shidduch which is suggested, is part of a person’s ultimate Shidduch. Sometimes two people must even meet, and become engaged, then break off the Shidduch; this brings them closer to finding their true Zivug.”


Accept this ordeal as a gift from Hashem, and take pride that Hashem chose you for this test. Chazal say (Bereishis Raba 34, 2) regarding the Pasuk (Tehillim 11, 5); "ה' צדיק יבחן"- Hashem tests the Tzaddikim, and R’ Yonasen says “When the pottery maker wants to test his creations, whether they are durable and will withstand years of use, he doesn’t hammer on the delicate pots because those will break easily. Instead, he hammers on the strong ones to see their resilience.” Likewise, Hashem sends trials only to the Tzaddikim, because he knows they will not give up, and continue believing in him. R’ Yossi says “Someone who’s field yields good flax, will thresh it, for it to improve, and the more he does, the better it will become. Similarly, Hashem tests the Tzaddikim for he knows this will only make them stronger.” R’ Eliezer compares it to a person with two cows, one is robust and strong, while the other is scrawny and weak. On which of the two will he place the heavy load? Of course on the healthy one! He also concludes, that Hashem only tests the Tzaddikim, whose faith will not diminish.


I’m waiting to see that your faith doesn’t waver; in this merit you will find something even better.

#79 - CHINUCH STARTS WHILE CHILDREN ARE STILL YOUNG.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


Tonight is Chamishah Asar Bishvat, the time of year when the trees start sprouting.


We can learn many lessons from the trees, specifically because a person is compared to a tree. As the Torah states in Devarim "כי האדם עץ השדה".


When a tree is young and supple, it can still bend in any direction. If one realizes that it is growing in the wrong direction, it can still be straightened back. But when a tree is aged and sturdy nothing will be able to budge her. This shows us, the opportunity to be Mechanach our children is while they are still young; then it is easier to uproot their bad Middos.


There are parents who make the mistake that small children aren’t included in their responsibility of Chinuch; they say “when our children grow up, and are old enough to understand, then we will start with Chinuch.” However, this is a grave mistake, because many times it is then too late. If you delay being Mechanach your children while they are young, you will find yourself in a situation with no return. When children are young it is easier to teach them good Middos, and easier to teach them to behave and talk in a refined manner.


Another foundation in Chinuch starts with oneself. Children grow up according to what they see and hear by their parents. Chazal state (Succah 56:) "שותא דינוקא בשוקא – או דאבוה או דאימא", meaning, whatever a child says, is either because he heard it from his father, or his mother. Chinuch starts with the parents; the way they behave, that is how their children will too.


A father who Davens three times a day with Minyan, is indirectly teaching his children the importance of Tefilla, and can be sure his children will follow his example. If the father doesn’t Daven, he stays home and mumbles some words here and there, then his children will follow his example and shirk davening too. A tree’s fruit grows in accordance to how she was planted. Thus, from today onwards start going to Shul and Daven with Minyan, no matter the situation, whether you do have the passion for davening or not, if you do have Sholom Bayis or not, you go to Shul, and you can be sure your children will then too.


The same goes for your daughters, the way they see their mother conducting herself, that is the way they will later behave. Therefore, adults must be very careful with their behavior, since whatever they do will be emulated.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#78 - WHEN ONE TRULY BELIEVES HASHEM CONTROLS EVERYTHING, HIS WORRIES DISSIPATE.

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


Tonight, Chamishah Asar Bishvat, go home and celebrate a Seuda together with your wife and children.


The holy Rebbe says (ספר המידות, אות עצבות, סימן לה): “When one eats dates, all his worries dissipate;” make sure to eat dates to benefit from this Segulah. Beseech Hashem “Hashem; help me believe everything you do is certainly for my טובה; I shouldn’t question you; help me forget my worries.” Maharosh explains the connection between dates and worries with the Chazal (Succah 45:) "מה תמר אין לו אלא לב אחד" – just like the palm tree has only one ‘heart’; all the branches emerge from one stem, "אף ישראל אין להם אלא לב אחד לאביהם שבשמים", similarly, Klal Yisroel has one heart directed towards Hashem. This means if one truly believes that Hashem controls everything which happens, then his worries disappear. When a person involves Hashem in his life, and has a rock-solid faith; he internalizes the fact that no one can harm him, or affect him in any way, then such a person is happy and content.


Maharosh also explains, the honey from the date demonstrates; when a person doesn’t question Hashem’s ways – like the fruit of the palm tree, he remembers that everything comes only from Hashem, then his life is also sweet.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#77 - TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THE BEAUTY OF TZNIUS.
Chinuch, Tznius

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


Today is Chamishah Asar Bishvat, the day of judgement for the trees. We can learn many things from a tree; take the fact that they start anew every year and provide fruit; even after going through an arduous winter season of rain and snow; come spring, they blossom to life and start giving off fruit. Likewise, we too must renew ourselves and start fulfilling.


The mother of the house is called the עקרת הבית – the foundation of the home. The responsibility and success of the entire household lies on her shoulders. If the mother is happy and uplifted, then her children are happy and healthy individuals. But if a mother is constantly irritable and short-tempered, then her children grow up deficient, with a lifelong anxiety. Therefore, a mother carries a great responsibility, she must always keep in mind that her children’s wellbeing is dependent on her.


Likewise, a child’s Yiddishkeit is also contingent on his or her mother; if a mother conducts herself with Yiras Shomayim, and is careful about her Tznius, then her daughters will also be modest. Chazal say (Medrash Tanchuma, Vayishlach 7) on the Pasuk (Bereishis 34, 1): "ותצא דינה בת לאה" – why is Dinah described as ‘the daughter of Leah’ not ‘the daughter of Yaakov?’ And they answer: because Leah went out on the streets. Dinah encountered problems only because she was imitating the actions of her mother, as it says "ותצא לאה לקראתו". Chazal cite "כאמה – בתה", like mother, like daughter. If a mother is careful not to go barefoot at home, and always have her legs covered, then her daughters will also conduct themselves modestly. But if a mother isn’t careful, then she shouldn’t be disappointed when her children grow up, and downgrade in Tznius.


Therefore, I beg you; strengthen yourself in Tznius. Daven to Hashem you should see the beauty of Tznius. Tznius isn’t a penalty, or unfair restrictions here to burden us; on the contrary, Tznius comes to show us our beauty, that our bodies are valuable, and that we are more than just animals without any morals. Animals don’t have clothing; and so too, the gentile nations, live without any dignity or morality.  We Yidden have self-respect; we know we are more than just animals; as the Pasuk refers to Klal Yisroel (Yechezkel 34, 31) “Hashem says ‘in my eyes you are considered people.’” And Chazal explain (Yevamos 61.) “You (Klal Yisroel) receive the title person, but the nations are not considered people”, (Yechezkel 23, 20) “They are comparable to the animals in the fields.”


When Avraham Avinu went to Akeides Yitzchok he told Yishmoel (Bereishis 22, 5) “I’m continuing with Yitzchak, and you remain here with the donkey.” Chazal elaborate (Kidushin 68.)   "עם הדומה לחמור"; they are akin to a donkey, because it makes no difference to them if they are clothed or not.


Baruch Hashem, we have a school where we teach the concept of Tznius with joy; the girls respect Tznius, and understand that Tznius is not ‘nebby’, and will not limit them; unlike many girls who unfortunately view Tznius as a punishment, or unfair restrictions on them. This is the underlying reason our daughters then seek to dress inappropriately; they never received the Chinuch that Tznius is the beauty and pride of a Jewish girl.


Thus, I request, value Tznius even though your children are still young, even young girls are obligated to dress and behave themselves in a modest fashion. Now is the time while you can still teach them. If they never heard it while they were young, they will ignore your pleas once they are older.


Take notice of what the tree teaches us, while it is still young and flexible it can be straightened and set right; children absorb what they are taught while they are still young; then when they grow older, they blossom, and bring the parents Nachas.


May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.

#76 - REGARDS FROM SCHOOL.
School

בעזרת ה' יתברך- עש"ק פ' בשלח, י"ב שבט, שנת תשע"ט


To our Principal Mrs….


I want to send you regards from school; I was there yesterday, I don’t know where else one can find such respectful girls with such wonderful Middos. The atmosphere in school radiates such positivity, and happiness, you can feel Hashem’s presence. One can see the efforts you put into the students.


The girls constantly send me letters that they completed Tehillim; they know what is important in life; they all want to get married, and they know what to focus on. They understand that their friends are not the most important part of their lives, they realize that their purpose in life is, to get married and raise a generation of Ehrliche Yidden.


Baruch Hashem, we have a wonderful Cheder too; the boys also live with Emunah and the Rebbe’s עצות, but by the school it is evident. After all, every Cheder learns Torah with the boys; but, where in the world is there another school which puts so much focus on Emunah? Where else are girls taught and trained to live with Hashem every second of the day? Thus, in great amazement I am writing this letter, after observing the girls behavior.


Thank you for giving a shiur to the newlyweds, the graduates of Bais Faiga; to instruct them how to be a devoted wife and mother etc. Iy”h in a short while there will be more Kallahs; more Yiddishe Mames to teach, how they can merit a sweet life by following the עצות of the holy Rebbe.


May Hashem grant you strength to return to school; the girls are waiting with longing for their principal.


Regards from your dear husband; he learns in Kollel with great dedication from morning until night. I have seen many Kollelim already; I also learned in Kollel for many years, but it is hard to find such commitment anywhere else.


Regards from your son….; I tested his Kitah this week Sunday; he is fluent in Mishnayos, and learns very well.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#75 - THE GIFT OF OUR GENERATION - “MAHAROSH” ZECHER TZADDIK LIVROCHA.
Moharosh

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ה' פ' בשלח, י"א שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


I want to personally invite you to the Yahrzeit Seuda for Maharosh z”l, which will take place next week Tuesday evening Iy”h; we will strengthen one another with the gift Hashem granted our generation, Maharosh Zecher Tzaddik Livrocha – who elevated us from our darkness, and brought us to live with Hashem.


All the Shiurim you hear from me, and all the letters you read; these are the דיבורים of Maharosh; all the עצות and הדרכה you received in yeshiva, is from Maharosh, and he simplified it from the holy Rebbe. All the letters you read from 'עצתו אמונה' (The Light of Emunah) – this is Maharosh.


The most beautiful gift Hashem granted me, was, when I became aware of the holy Rebbe, through Maharosh z”l.


I hope you will attend the Yahrzeit Seuda, I want to strengthen you to also become a מפיץ. The Yahrzeit Seuda will be a 'כינוס המפיצים'; I’m not traveling to Eretz Yisroel for the yahrzeit, only because I have an obligation from Maharosh to continue encouraging the Bochurim, and Yingeleit they should engage in הפצה.


If your wife is willing to prepare something for the Seuda, she can contact Mrs…


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#74 - STAY STRONG EVEN IF THE SHIDDUCH DIDN’T WORK OUT.
Shidduch, Bochur

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…..


Reinforce your Emunah, Hashem is with you; even if the girl didn’t want to continue with the Shidduch, don’t despair; continue learning the holy Torah, and carry on your life with positivity, and you will Iy”h soon find your Zivug.


After the holy Rebbe’s wife passed away, the Rebbe was in Radville, and many women came to him, with the desire to marry him. The Rebbe then said (Chai Maharan 595) All of them are my Shidduchim, and every person has a certain amount of Shidduchim; every Shidduch that is suggested, is part of his ultimate Shidduch, even if it does not eventually happen. In the Rebbe’s own words “sometimes one travels to complete a Shidduch, and the two parties meet, and it seems like the Shidduch will happen already, and in the end, it falls apart. One must then remember that it was essential for this to happen, because this brings a person a step closer to his true Zivug.


I ask you: return to Yeshiva and continue learning your daily Shiurim; in this merit Hashem will help you find your true Shidduch.

#73 - THE IMPORTANCE OF A PRINCIPAL IN A GIRL’S SCHOOL.
Chinuch

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear Mrs.…., Teacher in Bais Faiga Breslev


I received your letter, and read it with great caution.


I’m sending you an excerpt from the קונטרס "א גוטע לערערין"; a beautiful publication Maharosh wrote, with guidance, and practical ideas how to succeed with students. Read it carefully and absorb the message it conveys.


It is crucial for a girl’s school to have a competent principal who should stand at the helm, and make sure every aspect is taken care of. If a principal is absent, then the entire school will fall into disarray, and will not succeed.


We are all aware that the mother is the "עקרת הבית" – the foundation of the home; her natural instincts are to upkeep her home and create a pleasant atmosphere therein. When her home is disorderly, she will clean and organize it; if laundry accumulates, she will wash it and put it away; when the sink is piled high with dishes, she will rinse them; and so on with every other household chore; she knows the responsibility falls upon her shoulders.


When one enters a home, and the place is a mess; a jumble of clothing, toys, and dirt are strewn across the floor; stacks of dishes are teetering in the sink; the surfaces are buried with clutter; then it is obvious that something is amiss. Usually such a scenario points to one thing: the "עקרת הבית"- the mother is absent. And when the mother isn’t home, and there is no one to take charge or take an interest in the success of the home, then such a structure can not be called a ‘home’.


Similarly, in a girl’s school, there must be a principal who takes charge. She must take the responsibility for every detail, and ensure the school is running smoothly. As soon as she is missing, and neglects her duties; the entire school will feel the effects; the respect for her will diminish, and everything is downhill from there.


On the other hand a principal is only human, and can also make mistakes; one can have valid complaints, and if one feels the principal’s actions are not right, then they should clarify to her, how she can fix her error.


Before one contacts a principal about any aspect, whether it is about a mistake she made; or about a problem in the school; they must be aware of the acceptable way to do it. The first thing to keep in mind is, it must be done in a private setting. No one except the principal and teacher should be privy to the exchange. One should not discuss it with others outside the school, for ex. family, friends, or different teachers; this could Chas Vesholom destroy the school. If there are differences in opinion between the teacher and the principal; over different subjects, or different methods, on any which issue; it must stay confidential between teacher and principal only.


Therefore, when discussing an issue, it would be the smartest approach to discuss it once school has ended; either once everyone has left the school; or on the phone in the evening; in a respectful manner they will certainly find a way to even out their differences.


The second thing to keep in mind is: the conversation must be with love and understanding from both sides. The teacher should calmly explain her concern, her handle on the issue, and what she thinks the right solution is. The principal should listen and acknowledge the teacher’s frustration; explain her side of things and work together for a resolution which will benefit them both, and benefit the students.


However, if a hatred develops between the teacher and principal; it will affect every other aspect of their relationship. As soon as there is a ‘rebellion’ of the teachers against the principal, a teacher has criticism against the principal, and she incites the other teachers against her, this can destroy the entire school.


Children can sense very well if trouble is brewing; they can automatically feel if the relationship between the teacher and principal changes, and they can discern if there is hostility between the two. When children see a principal and teacher lack respect for each other; or a teacher has criticism or complaints against the principal; they will follow suit, and also stop respecting their teachers. If a teacher can be disrespectful to the principal, then they certainly can too.


Therefore, this is a critical foundation in Chinuch, and must be the first priority in any school. There must be a capable principal who fulfills her duties, and takes the full weight of responsibility for the school. If there are grievances, they must be discussed in a respectful and private fashion. Both the children and the teachers must respect the principal, and only in this manner will the school be successful. The children who graduate will be Ehrlich, well behaved, and healthy individuals.


I hope you accept this letter with positivity; show it to all the teachers.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#72 - TALKING TO HASHEM CALMS A PERSON.

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


The reason you are so confused etc., is because you don’t talk to Hashem. The Pasuk says (Shemos 14, 3): "נבכים הם בארץ"- One is lost and bewildered, because "סגר עליהם המדבר"- the 'מדבר' - his mouth, is closed; this is the reason you feel so abandoned; start talking to Hashem and everything will change.


Stop placing your trust in humans, you will just become disappointed and upset. The Navi said (Yirmiyahu 17, 5) “Cursed is the one who places his trust in other people, and doesn’t have faith in Hashem; he is comparable to a lone tree in the middle of the desert, who is forsaken, and will never see blessing. When one relies on others, he will eventually find himself alone with no one to turn to. But, "ברוך הגבר אשר יבטח בה'"- fortunate is the person who trusts Hashem, "והיה ה' מבטחו", and Hashem will certainly help him.


Try with all your might to remain happy; find the strengths you possess, and rejoice with them.


The holy Rebbe said (Sichas Haran, 177): “Rejoice that you merited such a Rebbe;” where would we be without the holy Rebbe? What would we look like without the Rebbe? Just with this fact – that we merited such a Rebbe; we must rejoice.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#71 - LISTENING TO MUSIC WHILE LEARNING MISHNAYOS.
Mishnayos, Seder Derech Halimud, Bochur

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


I received your letter.


Stay strong with all your might and continue serving Hashem; it brings me great pleasure to hear you are completing  Mishnayos for the second time, and you are מעביר סדרה every day.


Take no notice of the לצים who ridicule the Seder Derech Halimud; remember what Shlomo Hamelech said (Mishlei 31, 25): "עז והדר לבושה, ותשחק ליום אחרון"; and Chazal say, regarding this Pasuk (Shemos Raba 53, 2): "אימתי התורה משחקת לאדם?" When does the Torah show its beauty to the person? When does one reap the fruits of his labor?  "הוי ליום אחרון", on his last day; Hashem then unveils all the Torah the person learned during his lifetime; all the Pesukim of Chumash; all the Perakim Mishnayos; the Dafim Gemara; we will then see the validity of the Seder Derech Halimud, and the greatness of whoever followed it with תמימות ופשיטות.


When one mocks the Rebbe’s Seder Derech Halimud, he scorns it, and claims it isn’t considered learning; the Pasuk in Rus "אני מלאה הלכתי, וריקם השיבני" is applied to such a person. The Zohar explains (Zohar Chadash, Rus): His Neshumah cries "אני מלאה הלכתי", I came down to the world full of Torah, but: "וריקם השיבני", I am returning barren. However, one who learns with the method of the Seder Derech Halimud, returns his Neshumah overflowing with Torah.


Regarding your question if one may listen to music while learning Mishnayos; if this helps you learn Mishnayos better then it is ok.


Regarding etc.; remember the expression: “Look at me but don’t touch me,” if your……. has issues etc. stay far away from him.


You write that on numerous occasions you came up to me, and I didn’t answer the door; please understand, there are times when I am busy and it is simply not possible to answer. However, there is another door, and every time you knock, it is answered. Approach Hashem for everything you need; Chazal cite (Megilah 12:): Mordechai Hatzaddik had several names, "בן יאיר"- he illuminated the Yidden’s Life with his Tefillos; "בן שמעי"- He beseeched Hashem, and his Tefillos were answered; "בן קיש"- 'קיש' is an expression of knocking, "שהקיש על שערי רחמים ונפתחו לו", he knocked on the heavenly doors, Hashem should remove the evil decree – and he was answered.


May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.

#70 - PURSUE ONLY EHRLICHE FRIENDSHIPS.
Chizuk For Girls

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


….. Student of Bais Faiga Breslev


I received your letter.


I am very pleased to hear you only befriend girls who use refined speech, and when you hear another girl use ניבול פה, or someone texts you with foul language, you sever your contact with her, or reply you want to end the relationship. I reread your letter a few times, it makes me very proud that in ‘Bais Faiga‘ we only have students, who aspire to be holy.


It is a great pity on girls who watch movies behind their parent’s backs; they think they are fooling only their parents, but at the end of the day, they will suffer the consequences their entire life. When one watches inappropriate movies Rachmana Litzlon, they are harmed for life; this propels them to bad decisions which are dangerous for them ברוחניות ובגשמיות.


I suggest you show this letter to the girl who told you that she has a laptop, and watches movies all night; she should realize that she is only hurting herself by watching movies secretly; she thinks this will bring her joy, but it is just the opposite, she will only become more depressed.


In conclusion: you remain strong, and only befriend Ehrliche girls; Baruch Hashem, all your classmates are Ehrlich, socialize with them.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#69 - OCCUPY YOURSELF WITH WHAT IS IMPORTANT; DON’T BE BUSY WITH OTHERS.

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


מי שגמלך כל טוב היא יגמלך כל טוב סלה


Thank and praise Hashem for the miracle he granted you, that you were saved from such an accident; take it upon yourself to refrain from engaging in dangerous activities, and you will soon find your Shidduch.


Heed my words and do not apply for motorcycle license; Maharosh was very against it. It is a very dangerous sport, and it is not worth to risk your life for a few minutes of pleasure.


Regarding your aunt etc.; you stay in the sidelines, and don’t get involved. I beg you: never hurt another Yid. Even if he isn’t right, he refuses to give a Get, and he duped your aunt etc.; don’t take any reckless actions. Especially in this case, where it is no concern of yours. If you really want to help your aunt, Daven for her, and for all Klal Yisroel, that their suffering should come to an end.


You have experienced the taste of ‘Ungarishe Vein’ (see Chai Maharan, 260) since you came to the Rebbe; thus, utilize the שכל the Rebbe granted you, and don’t be busy trying to save the world; instead focus on learning Torah and doing Mitzvohs. Make sure to learn ח"י Perakim Mishnayos daily, and many Dafim Gemara; by doing so you will merit peace of mind; it will remind you that we are only here for a short while, and soon we’re returning our souls to our creator; it’s foolish to be busy with another’s concerns.


May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.


 

#68 - SET ASIDE TIME TO SAY 'תיקון הכללי' EVERY DAY.
Tikun Haklali

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ג' פ' בשלח, ט' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


Remember to say the 'תיקון הכללי' every day; the ten Kapitlech in Tehillim which the Rebbe revealed to us for Tikkun Habris. (Kapitel – ט"ז, ל"ב, מ"א, מ"ב, נ"ט, ע"ז, צ', ק"ה, קל"ז, ק"נ)


The holy Rebbe says (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 1, 29): תיקון הכללי has the power to bring Parnassah and Yeshuous. How long does it take to say ten Kapitlech of Tehillim? Isn’t it a worthy investment? Therefore, make it your routine to say it every day after Davening. When you reach Kapitel ע"ז, and say the Pasuk of "קולי 'אל אלקים'" concentrate on the שמות (אל"ף למ"ד, אל"ף למ"ד ה"י יו"ד מ"ם).


Keep a תיקון הכללי in your Tallis bag, one which includes the שמות from 'קל אלקים' with the מילוי, as the Rebbe said (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 1, Siman 205): “One should keep the שמות in mind while saying תיקון הכללי”; Maharosh requested we print the שמות by the words of 'קל אלקים', one should concentrate on it over there. Through doing so, you will merit to rectify your sins, and earn Parnassah with ease.


I beg you; flee from ליצנות as one flees from the מלאך המות! The מלאך המות cannot do as much harm to a person as ליצנות can. ליצנות destroys a person. Machlokes and arguments that break out between Yidden are only caused by לצים.


Shlomo Hamelech said (Mishlei 22, 10): “Banish the לץ, and you will get rid of all strife and arguments.” There is no greater danger than having a relationship with a לץ. Who falls into this category? Anyone who denigrates Ehrliche Yidden. When you hear someone slandering an Ehrliche Yid, stay far far away from him. People who mock Ehrliche Yidden are Baalei Aveira and Baalei Gaavah, and when these two elements merge; Aveira and Gaavah, the result is a לץ. As Shlomo Hamelech states (Mishlei 21, 24): "זד"- one who sins, "יהיר"- and one who is conceited, "לץ שמו"- his title is לץ. He doesn’t want to accept Mussar, therefore, he scorns and ridicules the holy Torah and the Ehrliche Yidden who teach it.


By absorbing these words, you will merit blessing on this world and the next.

#67 - A KAPITEL TEHILLIM REVITALIZES THE PERSON.
Tehillim

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ב' פ' בשלח, ח' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


Stay strong dear brother; don’t despair; this too will eventually pass.


I know you are going through a hard phase; Hashem is testing you with a difficult Nisoyan; remember though, what the holy Rebbe told R’ Nosson (Sichas Haran 300): “Everything that happens is – למען הבחירה והנסיון”; meaning, every challenge is a trial, to see to whom the person will turn in times of despair.


Listen to what I advise you; take a Tehillim and say a Kapitel; you’ll see, everything will change. The holy Rebbe said (Chai Maharan 485): “A Kapitel Tehillim is comparable to a refreshing drink”; when a person is parched on a hot day, he will grab a glass of cold water to quench his thirst; likewise, when one is floundering in despair, a Kapitel Tehillim is his comfort, and will bring him salvation.


Remember to read Krias Shema before going to sleep; R’ Nosson would say (Likutei Halachos, Krias Shema Shel Hamitah, Halacha 2): “When one reads Krias Shema before going to sleep at night, and is מתוודה his Aveiros; Hashem forgives him for all his sins.”


Good night.

#66 - WHEN ONE HAS AN UNWAVERING FAITH IN HASHEM HIS WORRIES FALL AWAY.
Emunah

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ב' פ' בשלח, ח' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


I’ve heard your cry, and seen your suffering over your financial struggles; however, remember: Parnassah comes from Hashem; worries are futile.


Chazal state (Berachos 4:): “Whoever recites 'תהלה לדוד' three times a day is guaranteed Oilam Haba.” The Tefilla of 'תהלה לדוד' is written according to the Aleph-Beis, and has a Tefilla for Parnassah in the middle; this seems difficult to understand; what is the connection between saying a Tefilla written according to the Aleph-Beis, and a Tefilla on Parnassah, with Oilam Haba? R’ Nosson explains (Likutei Halachos, Krias Shema, Halacha 5, 4) “When one accustoms himself to talk to Hashem using all the Aleph-Beis, and sing Tefillos of praise to Hashem, he merits to become a righteous person.” When one is righteous, he conducts himself with Ehrlichkeit and holiness, he ultimately merits Oilam Haba. Likewise, when one internalizes the fact, that Parnassah comes only from Hashem; as we say "ואתה" – and you Hashem, "נותן להם" – grant all, "את אכלם בעתו" – their sustenance at the right moment, such a person, with an unwavering faith is also Zoche to Oilam Haba.


Therefore, dear brother; place your trust in Hashem. Why should you feel so despondent? How will despair help you? Just look how weary you become; instead reinforce your faith in Hashem, and review the following words “ממלא כל עלמין, וסובב כל עלמין, אין שום מציאות מבלעדיך כלל, ובכל תנועה ותנועה שם אלופו של עולם"; this translates as “Everything that happens comes from Hashem, and Hashem is everything that happens, there is no survival without him, and he is hidden in everything in the world”; if you constantly boost your faith with these words, your situation will become easier, and your spirits uplifted; happiness breeds success; once you will be happy, you will automatically be more successful.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#65 - THE GREATNESS OF A בזיון.

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום א' פ' בשלח, ז' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


I hope you experienced a joyous Shabbos; we had a beautiful Shabbos, Baruch Hashem.


On Shabbos morning, during the Shiur in ספר פעולת הצדיק (Siman 216), we discussed the Rebbe’s journey to Eretz Yisroel; the Rebbe saw with his רוח הקודש that he will be Niftar on the way, in the city of Istanbul. He therefore accepted with humility the terrible בזיונות he received there, in order to remove the decree.


What we can learn from this is, when one undergoes נסיונות, or he has Machlokes or בזיונות etc. he should accept it with love; because through humiliation one can eliminate even the harshest decrees.


We spoke about the two Yingeleit who degraded the Rebbe, without knowing who he was. (ספר פעולת הצדיק, סימן 217) Once they got home they received a letter from the Rebbe’s Talmid R’ Yitzchok, and only then did they realize that the person they shamed was the holy Rebbe. They were filled with dread, and the individual who treated the Rebbe with greater disrespect immediately died. We discussed how careful one must be with the feelings of another. One can never know who someone is, and even if their opinions differ, one may never hate another Yid. When the Yingerman hounded the Rebbe and said “you must reveal to me who you are, and why you are traveling to Eretz Yisroel; if you will tell me you will have great benefits”; the Rebbe simply replied “I don’t need any benefits from you; if anything, you will benefit from me”. And the Rebbe then begged him “I cannot disclose the reason I am undertaking this journey; however, I implore: please, even if you don’t understand the purpose, we can still live together in harmony.” Even if there are multiple opinions between Anshei Shlomeinu, it is not a reason to argue, and certainly not to hurt another. During the Shiur I thought of you; it’s such a shame you were not Zoche to hear such important thoughts.


I hope you will be strengthened in the following two objectives; firstly, thatבזיונות  are only here to help a person achieve greater heights; secondly, "מה טוב ומה נעים שבת אחים גם יחד", (Tehillim 133); even when there are diverse views on certain issues, we can still live together in peace. Likewise, when one encounters another Yid who has a different מורה דרך, he should not start an argument over such frivolities; there are so many other topics they could discuss which they both agree on.


Before I end this letter, I still want to ask you a personal question: “Have you done something yet today to help another Yid? Did you take the trouble to enrich another Yid’s life with the עצות of the holy Rebbe? Did you do something today to bring another Yid closer to Hashem?”


Make a firm resolution, from today onwards, ‘I will start accomplishing for other Yidden.’ Especially during such a meaningful time; Maharosh’s Yartzeit is this week Tuesday. We will Iy”h gather for a Yartzeit Seuda in Yeshiva; it will be a 'כינוס המפיצים'; to appreciate how Maharosh gave away his entire life for other Yidden, and follow his example.


Good night.