Letters from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

#1 - TEACH YOUR CHILD TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך – ערב שבת קודש פרשת משפטים, מברכים החודש, כ"ו שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


If your child refuses to go to Cheder because there is a different child who bullies him, first talk to the Melamed. If you see it doesn’t improve, teach your child to fight back.


Although hitting is not a Yiddishe approach; it is befitting for Non-Jews, as we see Chazal say (Bereishis 27, 22): "הידים ידי עשיו", however, this is applicable for adults, or once one is grown and mature etc.; it also means if one is embarrassed, it is advisable to remain silent and not answer; but if we’re dealing with a young child who is still developing, you must teach him not to be afraid of anyone in the world. If other children start up with him, they hurt him or embarrass him, tell him to go to his Melamed, and if it doesn’t help, he should retaliate and teach the boys a lesson; the Rebbe says “sometimes one also has to give a Potch.”


Thus, I request from you; first talk to the Melamed and the Menahel, tell them how your child is suffering from one of his classmates; this doesn’t mean the child who bullies is a bad child, he just hasn’t been taught yet that this isn’t the way to behave. Some children don’t realize what they are doing, until they feel the same treatment in return. If no one takes notice though, teach your child ‘self-defense’ etc. he should know how to protect himself, he shouldn’t become a victim for a bully השם ישמרינו.


May Hashem help us we shouldn’t have to use this method, but we must prepare our children to defend themselves and not let their spirits be crushed by anyone in the world.