Letters from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

#1 - REMAIN STRONG, EVEN AFTER YOUR KALLAH BROKE OFF THE SHIDDUCH.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear…..


It pains me deeply to hear that your Kallah broke off the Shidduch.


I beg you dear…, remain strong with all the strength you possess; I guarantee, if you stay strong in the face of this Nisoyan, and accept it with love, you will merit an even better Shidduch than the first.


I know how hurtful this must be for you; you were so excited to get married, after waiting for this for so many years, and now you received such a blow; however, I beg you dear…., don’t despair, and you will certainly find something better.


This world is a constant struggle; everyone is tested with difficult Nisyonas to see where a person will turn בעת צרה. Will he cry out to hashem, or will he Chas Vesholom lose hope? If a person perseveres then he is Zoche to wonders and miracles.


Thus, I beg you dear…..., your pain is my pain; my wife and I haven’t slept all week; our Tefillos are that you should stay strong despite your anguish, continue learning and Davening, and not abandon your good deeds and assistance for the Yeshiva.


Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of what happened, because this was also your Shidduch. As the Rebbe says (Chai Maharan, 595) “Everyone has a certain number of Shidduchim, and every Shidduch which is suggested, is part of a person’s ultimate Shidduch. Sometimes two people must even meet, and become engaged, then break off the Shidduch; this brings them closer to finding their true Zivug.”


Accept this ordeal as a gift from Hashem, and take pride that Hashem chose you for this test. Chazal say (Bereishis Raba 34, 2) regarding the Pasuk (Tehillim 11, 5); "ה' צדיק יבחן"- Hashem tests the Tzaddikim, and R’ Yonasen says “When the pottery maker wants to test his creations, whether they are durable and will withstand years of use, he doesn’t hammer on the delicate pots because those will break easily. Instead, he hammers on the strong ones to see their resilience.” Likewise, Hashem sends trials only to the Tzaddikim, because he knows they will not give up, and continue believing in him. R’ Yossi says “Someone who’s field yields good flax, will thresh it, for it to improve, and the more he does, the better it will become. Similarly, Hashem tests the Tzaddikim for he knows this will only make them stronger.” R’ Eliezer compares it to a person with two cows, one is robust and strong, while the other is scrawny and weak. On which of the two will he place the heavy load? Of course on the healthy one! He also concludes, that Hashem only tests the Tzaddikim, whose faith will not diminish.


I’m waiting to see that your faith doesn’t waver; in this merit you will find something even better.