בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פרשת שמות, י"ח טבת, שנת תשעט
I received your letter.
The yetzer hora is so shrewd, he finds numerous ways to poison a person’s thoughts with negativity, to take the persons mind away from what is truly important – daven and thank Hashem.
Now that you are expecting a simcha, instead of thanking Hashem for the miracle, that you have children, and you’ll iyh merit more, you are miserable that you will miss out on your brother’s wedding.
When you have to forfeit a simcha because one of your own, that’s not a tragedy; instead focus and daven, that your own children should be ehrlich, that you should be zoche at the right time, and if the right time coincides with your brothers chasunah, thank and praise Hashem that the only reason you are missing out is, because of your own good fortune.
Understand your parents, why they didn’t consider this so important when deciding on a date for the chasunah, it is at all not easy to determine such a date; there are so many sides they have to accommodate, so instead of feeling miserable, thank Hashem that there are simchas in your family. Stop crying and complaining that they didn’t think of your feelings etc. Look at all the blessings Hashem gave you; you have a devoted husband, he brings parnassah, he helps you at home, he learns he davens – what more does one need? All that is missing is a little bit of happiness.
Unfortunately, I get to hear the terrible suffering some people go through, their entire life rachmana litzlon, therefore, it’s hard for me to understand why this should be a reason to cry.
If your parents don’t want you to produce a cd etc. drop the entire project and invest your talents into your home and family; with every small deed you are building your family’s future.
Regarding that you can’t find time to daven and say tehillim; that’s normal for busy mothers with small children. Instead, find a minute here and there, while folding laundry, while cooking and baking; talk to Hashem, sing songs of praise to him, even in yiddish, just how the Rebbe wanted us to.
I hope you will accept my words of chizuk, and start noticing the miracles Hashem does with you.