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#3 - ROLLER BLADES ARE NOT TZNIUS FOR A GIRL OVER BAS MITZVA.
Tznius

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ג' פרשת תרומה, א' דר"ח אדר א', שנת תשע"ט


…….Student in Bais Faiga Breslev.


I received your letter.


I’m happy to hear from your teachers that you conduct yourself with respect, and you excel in everything that is taught in Bais Faiga; with your good behavior you are bringing Nachas to your parents. Parents hope and Daven that their children will behave in an Ehrliche manner with Derech Eretz, and in this Zchus you will merit that your children will Iy”h bring you Nachas.


Be proud of your Tznius; if you are already Bas Mitzva, refrain from playing on the street with roller blades or jets. Now that you are becoming an adult you must be careful to behave in a modest fashion.


Help your mother at home; Kibud Av V’em is a very big Mitzva. Chazal say (Peah 1, 1): "אלו דברים שאדם אוכל פירותיהן בעולם הזה, והקרן קימת לו לעולם הבא: כיבוד אב ואם וכו'", Hashem rewards someone for Kibud Av V’em here on this world and on the next. Similarly, you will also be rewarded that your children will respect you; as we know, the way one treats his parents, is how his children will treat him.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#2 - THROUGH TZNIUS ONE MERITS RIGHTEOUS CHILDREN.
Tznius

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך – יום ב' פרשת משפטים, כ"ב שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


I received your letter.


Regarding your question whether your wife should change her head covering to a Tichel; you write that at first she was very confident with the idea, but now she is hesitant because she is embarrassed of a neighbor, and you want advice how to proceed.


On one hand it is very admirable to wear a Tichel without a Sheitel, as we see from the story Chazal relate (Yuma 47.): “There was a woman called Kimches, and she had 7 sons, all of them were Kohanim Gedolim. The Chachomim once asked her: “How did you merit such greatness?” Her reply was: “I was always extremely careful that the walls of my home should never see even a strand of my hair.” What we learn from this is, when a woman behaves modestly, she will merit Nachas from her children. But you cannot force anything upon your wife, it must come with consideration and patience.


Thus, I beg you dear..., respect your wife and don’t impose anything upon her; thank Hashem that you have a refined and Ehrliche wife who wishes to please you. However, it is a challenge for her to face her family and neighbors, resulting in her feeling torn between your wishes and her doubts. If she agrees to change, then a Tichel is certainly more Tzniusdik. In this Zechus you will merit the Brocha from the holy Rebbe (Sefer Hamiddos, Ois Banim) "צניעות שבאשה מזכה לה לבנים הגונים"; A woman who conducts herself with Tznius merits righteous children.


However, your main focus should be to live in harmony; if you live together in peace, and respect her; if you constantly praise her and make her feel valuable; then you will be Zoche to Hashem’s presence in your home, and thereby merit happiness and blessing.

#1 - TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THE BEAUTY OF TZNIUS.
Chinuch, Tznius

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


Today is Chamishah Asar Bishvat, the day of judgement for the trees. We can learn many things from a tree; take the fact that they start anew every year and provide fruit; even after going through an arduous winter season of rain and snow; come spring, they blossom to life and start giving off fruit. Likewise, we too must renew ourselves and start fulfilling.


The mother of the house is called the עקרת הבית – the foundation of the home. The responsibility and success of the entire household lies on her shoulders. If the mother is happy and uplifted, then her children are happy and healthy individuals. But if a mother is constantly irritable and short-tempered, then her children grow up deficient, with a lifelong anxiety. Therefore, a mother carries a great responsibility, she must always keep in mind that her children’s wellbeing is dependent on her.


Likewise, a child’s Yiddishkeit is also contingent on his or her mother; if a mother conducts herself with Yiras Shomayim, and is careful about her Tznius, then her daughters will also be modest. Chazal say (Medrash Tanchuma, Vayishlach 7) on the Pasuk (Bereishis 34, 1): "ותצא דינה בת לאה" – why is Dinah described as ‘the daughter of Leah’ not ‘the daughter of Yaakov?’ And they answer: because Leah went out on the streets. Dinah encountered problems only because she was imitating the actions of her mother, as it says "ותצא לאה לקראתו". Chazal cite "כאמה – בתה", like mother, like daughter. If a mother is careful not to go barefoot at home, and always have her legs covered, then her daughters will also conduct themselves modestly. But if a mother isn’t careful, then she shouldn’t be disappointed when her children grow up, and downgrade in Tznius.


Therefore, I beg you; strengthen yourself in Tznius. Daven to Hashem you should see the beauty of Tznius. Tznius isn’t a penalty, or unfair restrictions here to burden us; on the contrary, Tznius comes to show us our beauty, that our bodies are valuable, and that we are more than just animals without any morals. Animals don’t have clothing; and so too, the gentile nations, live without any dignity or morality.  We Yidden have self-respect; we know we are more than just animals; as the Pasuk refers to Klal Yisroel (Yechezkel 34, 31) “Hashem says ‘in my eyes you are considered people.’” And Chazal explain (Yevamos 61.) “You (Klal Yisroel) receive the title person, but the nations are not considered people”, (Yechezkel 23, 20) “They are comparable to the animals in the fields.”


When Avraham Avinu went to Akeides Yitzchok he told Yishmoel (Bereishis 22, 5) “I’m continuing with Yitzchak, and you remain here with the donkey.” Chazal elaborate (Kidushin 68.)   "עם הדומה לחמור"; they are akin to a donkey, because it makes no difference to them if they are clothed or not.


Baruch Hashem, we have a school where we teach the concept of Tznius with joy; the girls respect Tznius, and understand that Tznius is not ‘nebby’, and will not limit them; unlike many girls who unfortunately view Tznius as a punishment, or unfair restrictions on them. This is the underlying reason our daughters then seek to dress inappropriately; they never received the Chinuch that Tznius is the beauty and pride of a Jewish girl.


Thus, I request, value Tznius even though your children are still young, even young girls are obligated to dress and behave themselves in a modest fashion. Now is the time while you can still teach them. If they never heard it while they were young, they will ignore your pleas once they are older.


Take notice of what the tree teaches us, while it is still young and flexible it can be straightened and set right; children absorb what they are taught while they are still young; then when they grow older, they blossom, and bring the parents Nachas.


May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.