בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פרשת שמות, י"ח טבת, שנת תשעט
Lekuvid my dear ……
I received your letter.
For your own sake – I beg of you; get rid of your smartphone. I have such pity on you for all the suffering you are going through, you watch movies every night and it makes you so miserable. Really you are only fooling yourself; you promise yourself you’ll only watch so and so, and then before you know it you are already deep in שאול תחתית. This causes you to walk around looking so depressed, its mamish painful to look at you; you are suffering terribly from your aveiros.
Therefore, I beg of you my dear beloved…… I know you yearn to be good, and how you continue trying even though you fail repeatedly; you just bought your fourth smartphone, this is after throwing away your previous ones because you wanted to repent. Listen to what the holy Rebbe has to say, find a quiet corner and beg by Hashem “Hashem save me! I’m drowning in טומאה, and I see no way out. Holy Father! Have pity on me; my life is so dark and bitter, more than anything I want to shake off my aveiros, but it is just not happening. Give me the strength Tatte to stop looking at garbage, 'לב טהור ברא לי אלקים' give me a new heart, 'ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי' and renew my will – help me be ehrlich and holy.
You cannot imagine dear……. what a positive affect such tefillos have. The holy Zohar says (parshas balak, 195) when a person pours his heart out to Hashem, Hashem says “I want the entire heavenly court to step aside, and I want to be alone with the person in pain,” and Hashem has no greater pleasure then when someone cries his heart out to him, all the heavenly gates are wide open for a broken heart, and his tefillos ascend without רשות.
What we can learn from this is: when a person finds a quiet corner, and gives himself over to Hashem; he tells him everything he is going through, these tefillos ascend straight up to heaven, Hashem answers the downtrodden before the biggest tzaddik.
The Zohar continues that when Dovid Hamelech saw the impact of the poor man’s tefillah, he took off his royal clothing and sat himself down on the ground and begged Hashem (Tehillim 86,1) “תפלה לדוד, הטה ה' אזנך ענני” Hashem help me, and listen to my plea, “כי עני ואביון אני” as a lowly beggar I come to you. This teaches us that Hashem is extremely close to someone with a broken heart.
Dear …….. listen to the Rebbe, and make it part of your life to daven and talk to Hashem. When a person reveals everything, and tells Hashem exactly what is bothering him, how badly he wants to be ehrlich, but how hard it is for him; how he unfortunately commits such terrible aveiros, but despite all this he still wants to be good, Hashem takes away all the דינים from the person and forgives him for his sins.
Maharosh z”l would say (אשר בנחל, מכתב א, רפג) there is a heavenly Malach whose name is Ezrial, his obligation is to carry up the tefillos of bochurim which fall in the aveira of פגם הברית rachmana litzlon. He takes these tefillos and builds beautiful palaces for Hashem, which infuse the neshomas with new strength to continue their struggle.
Be strong and in no time, you will find your shidduch.