Letters from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

#10 - TEFILLA FOR A BACHUR TO FIND HIS ZIVUG.
Shidduch, Bochur

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום א' פרשת תרומה, כ"ח שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…., Talmid in Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah


You made the right decision by not joining your friends and going away for Shabbos to a place where there is no Minyan; this demonstrates that you have Yiras Shomayim. It astonishes me that Chassidishe Bochurim would do such a thing – go away for Shabbos to a place without a Minyan or a Mikve, it is a display of קלות ראש.


Remain strong with your good deeds; continue Davening Shachris, Mincha, Maariv with Minyan, and carry on with your daily shiurim. Learn some Chumash and Rashi with the Targum every day, and Chai Perakim Mishnayos; the עיקר is you should learn a lot of Gemara, because through doing so you will merit to be protected from all harm.


Don’t worry about your Shidduch; you will soon find your true Zivug. Recite the קרבנות הנשיאים every day, as the Rebbe says (Sefer Hamiddos, Ois Chutan): “Whoever wants to find his Zivug, should say the קרבנות הנשיאים”. Say the following Tefilla that Maharosh wrote specifically for Bochurim and girls to merit to find their Shidduch, originally from the Sefer ‘Your Shidduch will arrive’.


“Reboinoi Shel Oilom, help me merit to find a good Shidduch, I should be Zoche to get married already, and not have to wait any longer for my Shidduch to arrive.


Hashem, I know there are times when I did not behave as I was supposed to, and I wasn’t always so righteous and Ehrlich. However, I beg you Hashem, disregard my Aveiros and don’t withhold my Shidduch because of them. Forgive me for everything I have done, and save me from any more sins by granting me my Shidduch I should be able to be Ehrlich.


What should I do? Reboinoi Shel Oilam, I am ready to get married tonight! What can I do that I haven’t found the right one yet? I’m waiting and waiting, and Davening for so long now, but nothing has yet come to fruition.


Chazal say that when one gets married after the age of twenty, he is doomed to think of Aveiros all his life, and you say regarding such a person that his bones shall disintegrate. Hashem! Why must I receive such a harsh punishment, that for the rest of my life I should have unholy thoughts, and my bones will disintegrate? Why am I at fault? Why do I deserve this? Is the terrible pain that I haven’t found my Shidduch yet, not enough?


Hashem, help me I should continue having patience, and not despair until my Shidduch arrives. Help me not question your ways, and I should strongly believe that everything you do is לטובה, and everything that happens on this world is accounted for.


Hashem, you are the only one who can truly understand what I am going through! Only you can feel the humiliation and embarrassment I suffer, that all my friends are married already and I remain all alone. Help me, that the shame should be a Kaparah for my Aveiros, and I shouldn’t have to go through this anymore, I should be Zoche to get married very soon.


I genuinely believe Hashem that you will not forsake me, and I will eventually merit to get married. Therefore, I beg you, when I do get married there should only be harmony and happiness in my home; we should never argue or fight Chas Vesholom, and there should only be אהבה אחוה שלום ורעות between us. We should love each other, and merit a happy marriage; we should never need to divorce Chas Vesholom.


Hashem, help me I should always be a ותרן, I should be able to concede and not argue over pettiness. Help me that I always be able to assist and support my wife. Help us establish a happy home together, there should always be a pleasant atmosphere in our home. I should merit healthy and Ehrliche children, and be able to raise them and see Nachas from them. My home should be a place of Chesed, I should merit to invite guests and give Tzedakah to the needy.


Hashem, please accept my Tefilla and help me already in the Zchus of all the Tzaddikim, and especially in the Zchus of Rebeinu Eliezer Shlomo Ben Menachem Zev, זכותו יגן עלינו, who made this Tefilla, אמן כן יהי רצון.”


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#9 - IT’S TIME TO START LOOKING FOR A SHIDDUCH FOR YOUR DAUGHTER.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך – יום ד' פרשת משפטים, כ"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs…..


 Your daughter came up to me today, and she cried that she yearns to get married already; thus, I ask you to start listening to suggestions and seeking an Ehrliche Shidduch for her.


Although we spoke already, and we determined to wait a while, I think she is ready to enter the next stage in life. She is mature and perceptive, and she wants to start her future.


Be strong, Hashem will not forsake you. Whatever you desire ask from him.


Thank you for your donation for the yeshiva; in the merit of Tzedakah may you be blessed with success in all your endeavors.

#8 - EVERYTHING IS MIN HASHOMAYIM.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ד' פ' יתרו, י"ז שבט, יומא דהילולא של מוהרא"ש זצוק"ל, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


Thank you for helping the Yeshiva with your donation for the rent. In the merit of tzedakah may you succeed in everything you do.


I know you are feeling guilty over the fact that Habachur …… Kallah broke off the Shidduch; everyone feels his pain, though it must bother you more since you played the role of Shadchan; therefore, I beg you, don’t take it to heart, the entire incident is Min Hashomayim.


I want to strengthen you to continue your attempts to suggest Shidduchim; especially for ……, he is a wonderful boy, and almost like a child to me. Likewise, the girl is also a good girl, and why this had to happen is beyond our control or understanding. The only explanation can be, that Hashem wanted this to occur.


People will certainly now gossip and speak Lashon Hora; concoct reasons, and manufacture stories why this happened, but take no notice. Continue with your virtuous deeds, that is what Hashem wants from you now.


I request once again: don’t feel guilty. You are not at fault, the Bachur isn’t at fault, and lastly the girl isn’t at fault. This was a decree from heaven, and we must accept it with love and continue our efforts to carry through with more Shidduchim.


Thank you for accepting my words of Chizuk.

#7 - REMAIN STRONG, EVEN AFTER YOUR KALLAH BROKE OFF THE SHIDDUCH.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear…..


It pains me deeply to hear that your Kallah broke off the Shidduch.


I beg you dear…, remain strong with all the strength you possess; I guarantee, if you stay strong in the face of this Nisoyan, and accept it with love, you will merit an even better Shidduch than the first.


I know how hurtful this must be for you; you were so excited to get married, after waiting for this for so many years, and now you received such a blow; however, I beg you dear…., don’t despair, and you will certainly find something better.


This world is a constant struggle; everyone is tested with difficult Nisyonas to see where a person will turn בעת צרה. Will he cry out to hashem, or will he Chas Vesholom lose hope? If a person perseveres then he is Zoche to wonders and miracles.


Thus, I beg you dear…..., your pain is my pain; my wife and I haven’t slept all week; our Tefillos are that you should stay strong despite your anguish, continue learning and Davening, and not abandon your good deeds and assistance for the Yeshiva.


Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of what happened, because this was also your Shidduch. As the Rebbe says (Chai Maharan, 595) “Everyone has a certain number of Shidduchim, and every Shidduch which is suggested, is part of a person’s ultimate Shidduch. Sometimes two people must even meet, and become engaged, then break off the Shidduch; this brings them closer to finding their true Zivug.”


Accept this ordeal as a gift from Hashem, and take pride that Hashem chose you for this test. Chazal say (Bereishis Raba 34, 2) regarding the Pasuk (Tehillim 11, 5); "ה' צדיק יבחן"- Hashem tests the Tzaddikim, and R’ Yonasen says “When the pottery maker wants to test his creations, whether they are durable and will withstand years of use, he doesn’t hammer on the delicate pots because those will break easily. Instead, he hammers on the strong ones to see their resilience.” Likewise, Hashem sends trials only to the Tzaddikim, because he knows they will not give up, and continue believing in him. R’ Yossi says “Someone who’s field yields good flax, will thresh it, for it to improve, and the more he does, the better it will become. Similarly, Hashem tests the Tzaddikim for he knows this will only make them stronger.” R’ Eliezer compares it to a person with two cows, one is robust and strong, while the other is scrawny and weak. On which of the two will he place the heavy load? Of course on the healthy one! He also concludes, that Hashem only tests the Tzaddikim, whose faith will not diminish.


I’m waiting to see that your faith doesn’t waver; in this merit you will find something even better.

#6 - STAY STRONG EVEN IF THE SHIDDUCH DIDN’T WORK OUT.
Shidduch, Bochur

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…..


Reinforce your Emunah, Hashem is with you; even if the girl didn’t want to continue with the Shidduch, don’t despair; continue learning the holy Torah, and carry on your life with positivity, and you will Iy”h soon find your Zivug.


After the holy Rebbe’s wife passed away, the Rebbe was in Radville, and many women came to him, with the desire to marry him. The Rebbe then said (Chai Maharan 595) All of them are my Shidduchim, and every person has a certain amount of Shidduchim; every Shidduch that is suggested, is part of his ultimate Shidduch, even if it does not eventually happen. In the Rebbe’s own words “sometimes one travels to complete a Shidduch, and the two parties meet, and it seems like the Shidduch will happen already, and in the end, it falls apart. One must then remember that it was essential for this to happen, because this brings a person a step closer to his true Zivug.


I ask you: return to Yeshiva and continue learning your daily Shiurim; in this merit Hashem will help you find your true Shidduch.

#5 - MARRY OFF YOUR SON, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
Shidduch

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ב' פ' בא, ראש חודש שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


I’m writing the following letter on behalf of your son…


Have pity on him; he yearns to get married. Understandably, he is uncomfortable to discuss this with you or your wife, but he wept to me, that his entire Yiddishkeit is in danger. He begged me to open your eyes to the situation, and start listening to suggestions instead of claiming he isn’t ready yet etc.


He just left my office; he cried so desperately, the walls cried along. From the depths of his heart he wants to be good, but you have no idea what difficult nisyonas he is going through.


Therefore, do what is right for your child, and allow him to get married already. Don’t turn down good suggestions; if you wait too much longer you can chas vesholom lose everything.


Look around, and see the generation we are living in. Girls and boys are rachmana litzlon throwing away Yiddishkeit; one can not be confident enough that it won’t happen to him either. These tormented souls were also told to stop overacting or faking it etc.


Please don’t be offended with this letter, all I want is you to merit nachas. I have no ulterior motives, only to save your son.

#4 - WHEN ONE STANDS STRONG, AND DOES NOT SUCCUMB TO HIS CHALLENGES, HE MERITS MIRACLES.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ג' פ' יתרו, ט"ז שבט, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear….


Even though I have sent you a letter already, your pain still weighs on my heart; it is impossible to fathom what you are going through. You had everything ready to travel to your wedding, your Shtreimel, your clothing; you booked a ticket already, and suddenly you receive a message that the Kallah broke off the engagement. The more I think about it, the more heartbreaking it is for me; therefore, I want to write a few words to strengthen you.


Dear beloved…., the entire episode, however painful it is, is certainly לטובה; you’re thinking that someone was definitely behind this, and influenced the Kallah etc.; yes, someone was undoubtedly behind this; Hashem wanted this to happen; he stands behind the challenges a person goes through, and if a person perseveres, he merits great miracles. נסיון, entails the אותיות of נס; if one doesn’t succumb to his suffering, he is Zoche to a נס.


Thus, I beg you, continue with your daily shiurim, and continue coming to Yeshiva. There is no need to hide yourself from people; this is not your problem, and don’t view it as if it happened because something is wrong with you; this is a Nisoyan from Hashem, and he did it only for your benefit.


Daven for me I should have the strength to continue with the Yeshiva etc., Yoel Ben Ratza Rechel; your Tefillos are very valuable up in heaven.


Chazal state (מדרש אותיות דרבי עקיבא, אות 'ד') Hashem says: “People despise a poor person, but I have an enormous love for him; when he davens to me, I don’t send him away empty handed,” as we see in Tehillim, it says (74, 21), "ואני מקרב שכינתי אצלו בכל יום"  "אל ישב דך נכלם וגו'", and furthermore (Tehillim 34, 19) "קרוב ה' לנשברי לב"; see how Hashem cherishes when someone with a broken heart reaches out to him; especially a Bachur who is truly a beggar; he has nobody to share his life with. I think of you, and what you are going through now, you thought you are finally going to start a new chapter in your life, and now you find yourself once again alone; Daven for yourself, and for others because your Tefillos are very precious to Hashem. Chazal continue (מדרש אותיות דרבי עקיבא): “Hashem is constantly looking at the needy person;” as it states in Yeshayahu (66, 2): “His Tefillos are sweeter to Hashem than any sound in the entire world.”

#3 - EVEN WHEN YOUR SITUATION SEEMS BLEAK, REMEMBER HASHEM IS THERE.
Shidduch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום ב' פ' יתרו, חמשה עשר בשבט, שנת תשע"ט


To my dear…….


Even though I sent you a letter yesterday, I feel I must write to you again, to strengthen you while going through such an ordeal; that your Kallah broke off the Shidduch.


I beg you dear…, remain strong with all the strength you possess; don’t lose faith in Hashem, believe that everything Hashem does is for the person’s benefit. Review in your mind ‘everything Hashem does is certainly לטובה, even though it now seems like a calamity, I believe Hashem has his reasons.’ Chazal state (Berachos 60:): “A person should accustom himself to say: ‘everything Hashem does is לטובה’”. Not always do we see or realize how a certain hardship could benefit us, or why Hashem tests us with a particular Nisayon, but we must believe that Hashem is compassionate, and does only Chesed.


Accept this like a valuable gift; say to Hashem: “Hashem, I thank you for breaking off my Shidduch, I believe that this is certainly good for me. Hashem, give me strength to continue with my life, until my true Shidduch arrives. Hashem, it is so hard for me to be alone, I was about to get married and become a complete person, and now the Kallah decided not to continue. Help me Hashem find my true Zivug.” Pour your heart out to Hashem, and in this merit, you will find your Shidduch soon.

#2 - BARUCH HASHEM, THE DREAM WAS FULFILLED.
Hischazkus, Yiras Shomayim, Shidduch, Nachas, Bochur

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ה' פ' שמות, י"ט טבת, שנת תשעט


Lekuvid……


The chasunah which took place in yeshiva this week brings me great pleasure.


When we opened our cheder in Williamsburg for the first time; Maharosh z”l regaled that years ago, the person which headed the Breslev shul in Williamsburg was lamenting how hard his job was, and that there are times when he barely  has minyan. While standing on the street in conversation, a school bus passed by, and Maharosh turned to him and said, “give it some time, and buses with ‘Talmud Torah Breslev’ emblazoned on their side will encircle Williamsburg.” The latter replied “you‘re most certainly dreaming; there will never be such a thing”. Maharosh then smiled and said “Baruch Hashem that my dream has become a reality.” Maharosh then requested that we drive past his house, so he can show his rebbetzin the beautiful Mosdos we founded, which follows the teachings of the holy Rebbe.


During the chasunah I thought to myself: ‘one can truly see how Maharoshs vision became a reality;’ Maharosh wrote an endless number of letters on this subject, (see קונטרס לב אבות על בנים; ארך אפים אות ד', ועוד) that one should not waste time and money on expensive simchas, only to celebrate them simply.


On many occasions, Maharosh would ask the bochurim in Yeshiva: “what does a bachur really need? Only one thing, to find their shidduch.” Maharosh would say, all that is necessary is a minyan, and a tallis for the chuppah, and that is it! A bachur’s wish is to be able to quote the בת קיסר who said to the בן מלך after years of yearning for her shidduch (סוף סיפורי מעשיות מעשה ב', ממלך וקיסר) “and now בן מלך we have each other, it is time to go home.” Thanks to Hashem the unimaginable is now coming to fruition.


Someone came over to me during the chasunah and remarked “there is nothing lacking from this simcha, it is so beautiful, but one thing is missing; Maharosh should be sitting here with his famous smile, and be witness, that his hard work was not for naught.” I replied “Maharosh is here! where else would he be?” there, where one learns and reviews the lessons of a tzaddik, and conducts themselves according to his teachings, that is where the tzaddiks neshoma is. The holy Zohar brings (parshas acherei, daf 71:): “A tzaddiks presence is stronger once he has left the world, even more then when he was still alive”.


Tonight, there will iyh be a shiur; don’t make excuses why not to come, even though you think it’s the same old stuff as every week. When the yetzer hora tries too dissuade you with the argument “what is the point? You hear the same דיבורים week after week,” answer him: “and what is your chiddush? The same aveiros again and again……”


True, we will review the same thing as every week; I daven to Hashem that he should help me find a way into everyone’s hearts, and I should repeat only what Maharosh taught us all these years. First and foremost, Emunah; the seder derech halimud – the Rebbes directive of learning and התחדשות, starting anew. The importance of sholom bayis; the chinuch of our sons and daughters; and how careful one must be with his behavior at home, because despite their young age, children absorb and understand everything that occurs.


Use extra caution with your conduct at home, if one wishes to merit nachas, he must behave himself with yiras shomayim. A child which sees that his father is a sample of yiras shomayim, he prepares negel vasser before bedtime; he recites krias shema; he doesn’t raise his voice, or use coarse language, then he too will be ehrlich. The child will then imitate his parents, and also read krias shema and prepare negel vasser; and use only refined speech.


Daven to Hashem, that you should merit to always stay young and energized, despite your age.


Have a good day.

#1 - SIMCHA IS MOST IMPORTANT WHILE SERVING HASHEM.
Mishnayos, Simcha, Shidduch

 


 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' שמות, י"ח טבת, שנת תשעט


….


Stay strong, and continue focusing on being happy, solely with the fact that you were created a yid.


Simcha is the most important aspect in avodas Hashem; when a person is happy, and serves Hashem with simcha, he merits divine protection, which also saves him from פגם הברית. As it states in tehillim (104, 34-35) “אנכי אשמח בה', יתמו חטאים מן הארץ, ורשעים עוד אינם” through rejoicing with Hashem, then: “יתמו חטאים מן הארץ” there is no more sin. (Likutei Maharan chelek 1, siman 169)


If you say mishnayos you will acquire a pure mind; try not to be influenced by your conflicted thoughts, just continue learning and saying tehillim. The first letters of tehillim and mishnayos spell מ"ת, indicating that these two cleanses a person from the impurity of the dead; likewise, mishnayos and tehillim revive a person from his dead, emotionless state, and infuse him with new life to continue achieving.


Nonetheless, you cannot merit this, only if one has the middah of תמימות – simplicity (to believe without asking questions); the last letters of tehillim and mishnayos spell ת"ם – we must listen to what tzaddikim advise us without skepticism.


You did the right thing by throwing away the number someone gave you, which would have led you to aveiros rachmana litzlon, in this merit you will find an ehrliche zivug. Don’t despair, in no time you will find your shidduch.