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#3 - CALL YOUR PARENTS EVERY DAY.
Kibud Av V'eim

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום א' פרשת תרומה, כ"ח שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


Call your parents every day; Maharosh would make sure to call his father every single day after Shachris.


Discuss what is going on in your life with them, tell them about your children – understandably only positive things; don’t recount your problems, parents don’t want to hear their children complaining, they already had their share of hardships while raising you, now is the time to bring them only Nachas. What can I say? There is no greater Mitzva than bringing pleasure to your father or your mother.


The fact that your parents are upset at you that you affiliate with Breslev – this will certainly pass. They only mean your benefit – they unfortunately heard Lashon Hora on Breslev, especially on Hichel Hakodesh and therefore they are angry that you associate yourself with such a place.


The Rebbe said (Sichas Haran, 182): “People don’t oppose me; in their minds they created a vision of who I am, and that is the person they oppose.” The Rebbe concludes “Rightfully so; I also oppose that person; someone who conducts himself in such a manner is someone I also fight against.” People have no clue what Breslev is about; they think it is just a haven for משוגעים.


You remain strong and conduct yourself according to the עצות the Rebbe teaches us; continue to honor your parents, and if they bring up the subject of Breslev, just remain quiet. Don’t answer or argue with them, and you will see their anger will subside.


Good night.

#2 - COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, AND THANK HASHEM.
Tehillim, Kibud Av V'eim, Appreciation

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פרשת שמות, י"ח טבת, שנת תשעט


Mrs……..


I received your letter.


The yetzer hora is so shrewd, he finds numerous ways to poison a person’s thoughts with negativity, to take the persons mind away from what is truly important – daven and thank Hashem.


Now that you are expecting a simcha, instead of thanking Hashem for the miracle, that you have children, and you’ll iyh merit more, you are miserable that you will miss out on your brother’s wedding.


When you have to forfeit a simcha because one of your own, that’s not a tragedy; instead focus and daven, that your own children should be ehrlich, that you should be zoche at the right time, and if the right time coincides with your brothers chasunah, thank and praise Hashem that the only reason you are missing out is, because of your own good fortune.


Understand your parents, why they didn’t consider this so important when deciding on a date for the chasunah, it is at all not easy to determine such a date; there are so many sides they have to accommodate, so instead of feeling miserable, thank Hashem that there are simchas in your family. Stop crying and complaining that they didn’t think of your feelings etc. Look at all the blessings Hashem gave you; you have a devoted husband, he brings parnassah, he helps you at home, he learns he davens – what more does one need? All that is missing is a little bit of happiness.


Unfortunately, I get to hear the terrible suffering some people go through, their entire life rachmana litzlon, therefore, it’s hard for me to understand why this should be a reason to cry.


If your parents don’t want you to produce a cd etc. drop the entire project and invest your talents into your home and family; with every small deed you are building your family’s future.


Regarding that you can’t find time to daven and say tehillim; that’s normal for busy mothers with small children. Instead, find a minute here and there, while folding laundry, while cooking and baking; talk to Hashem, sing songs of praise to him, even in yiddish, just how the Rebbe wanted us to.


 


I hope you will accept my words of chizuk, and start noticing the miracles Hashem does with you.


 


 


 

#1 - ACCUSTOM YOURSELF TO TALK TO HASHEM; BE CAREFUL WITH THE MITZVA OF KIBUD AV V'EIM.
Hisbodedus, don’t give up!, Kibud Av V'eim

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ב' פרשת שמות,ט"ז טבת, שנת תשע"ט


Lekuvid……


   אשרינו מה טוב חלקינו "אשר בנחל" שם גורלנו! How different would our life be without the advice and lessons of the holy Rebbe, never to give up, no matter how dire your situation may seem.


Once you have tried everything in your power already to improve your situation, it’s about time you try the eitzah of the holy rebbe – התבודדות. Find yourself a quiet place with no one to bother you, and unburden yourself to Hashem in your own words, as if you’re talking to a trusted friend. After discussing your hardships with Hashem, you will feel unshackled, as if you were just set free from your personal captivity. Once a person becomes accustomed to talking to Hashem, he no longer needs anything or anybody else.


If you see days and weeks go by and you are still at square one – don’t give up! Even if you feel things are getting worse, and you’re sinking deeper and deeper, still, don’t despair. Continue going to shul every day, and laying teffilin. Continue learning mishnayos and gemara, and connect yourself to the Torah. Remember what the holy Rebbe would say (Likutei Maharan, chelek 1, siman 189) “The yetzer hora isn’t interested in a person’s sins, what his goal is, the depression and misery, which results from the aveira”.


Call your parents every day; there is no greater mitzva then the mitzva of ‘kibud av veim’. Chazal say (Tana D’bei Eliyahu Raba, parsha 26) “Hashem says ‘the entire world is mine – I created it, and what I request from you is to respect your parents’”; don’t say “they are old” or “they are not my style” etc., just give it some time and your children will grow up, and could possibly treat you the same way - chas vesholom.


May Hashem grant you success in all your endeavors