Letters from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

Chizuk For Girls, Jealousy


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ב' פ' בא, ראש חודש שבט, שנת תשע"ט

…… student of Bais Faiga Breslev

I received your letter.

Cease envying your friends and neighbors; stop looking at other people; it is a senseless act. Everyone has their own unique hardships they are going through, and there is no person in the world that has only blessings. Therefore, it is foolish to be jealous of another. The only person one should envy is, a righteous Jew who despite going through tribulations and hardships, persists and continues with his avodas Hashem.

It would be worthwhile for you to review the story of the Chochom and the Tam (Sippurei Maasos, story 9) which demonstrates how the Tam merited a blessed life.

The Tam was a poor shoemaker, who worked long hours to earn a living. The shoes he would create were misshapen and bizarre, but he would pride himself with them, proclaiming “how beautiful and magnificent these shoes are! How sweet and blessed my shoes are!” His wife who wasn’t at all impressed with his work, couldn’t understand, and would question him; “if the shoes you make are truly so wonderful, why do all the other shoemakers charge three times the price than you do?” the Tam would reply “that is no concern of mine; others should do their thing; and I will continue to do mine. What they do is their decision, and what I do is my decision. What is the point in discussing others?” He would then make a calculation of his income and expenses; and calculate a profit. This was enough for him, and he was happy.

Therefore, when envious thoughts creep into your mind; you feel your siblings receive more than you do etc. replay the words of the Tam in your mind. ‘This is not my concern! What happens to others has no connection to me.’ By keeping this in mind, you too will merit the blessings the Tam ultimately merited.

I would not advise you to buy a cellphone. You have time for that after you get married; instead of texting with friends use your time to daven to Hashem, and say Tehillim.

May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.