Letters from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

#14 - PARENTS MUST WORK ALONG WITH THE SCHOOL.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ג' פרשת תרומה, א' דר"ח אדר א', שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


I strongly request from you to work along with the school; if there is a rule that the girls cannot bring cell phones to school, please don’t allow your daughter to bring one and tell her to hide it from the principal etc. It is detrimental to the Chinuch of your daughter if she hears one thing in school, and at home she hears the opposite. Later when the school demands something else, even if it is something you agree on, your daughter will find reasons not to accept it because she knows that her mother permits her to go against the school rules.


I hope this straightens things out, and from today onwards you will be on the same page as what the school requires from the students, you should certainly encourage your daughters to listen to everything the school demands.


If you have a few minutes during the day, say some Tehillim, and hand over your worries to Hashem; one cannot imagine the greatness of Tefilla; when one would know how powerful every word they utter is, they would talk to Hashem from morning until night.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#13 - DON’T TALK TO CHILDREN ABOUT DYING.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום א' פרשת תרומה, כ"ח שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs…..


This letter is regarding your child who tells you that he will die etc., it is understandable that this is extremely frightening and worrisome for you.


I request from you to forget what he said, and cease talking to your children about dying. The only reason he talks about this topic is because he hears other people talking about it, therefore, make sure it isn’t mentioned anymore. Instead talk to your children about Hashem, imbue in them that Hashem is everywhere, and anything they need or desire they can ask from Him.


The Rebbe related that as a young child he heard many stories of Tzaddikim, and this left an impression on him and he started yearning to also become a Tzaddik. When a child hears a story of a Tzaddik his pure heart starts longing to also be Ehrlich. Talk to your children about the greatness of Tzaddikim, how they lived with absolute faith in Hashem, and whatever they desired they simply asked from Him. Explain to them that this is how they brought salvation for Klal Yisroel.


If you have an extra minute during the day when your children are in school and Cheder etc., say a Kapitel of Tehillim, and empty your heart out to Hashem, tell Him all your worries and fears in your own words, talk to Him as if you are talking to a trusted friend; Daven to Him to merit holy and Ehrliche children.


May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.

#12 - TEACH YOUR CHILD TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך – ערב שבת קודש פרשת משפטים, מברכים החודש, כ"ו שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


If your child refuses to go to Cheder because there is a different child who bullies him, first talk to the Melamed. If you see it doesn’t improve, teach your child to fight back.


Although hitting is not a Yiddishe approach; it is befitting for Non-Jews, as we see Chazal say (Bereishis 27, 22): "הידים ידי עשיו", however, this is applicable for adults, or once one is grown and mature etc.; it also means if one is embarrassed, it is advisable to remain silent and not answer; but if we’re dealing with a young child who is still developing, you must teach him not to be afraid of anyone in the world. If other children start up with him, they hurt him or embarrass him, tell him to go to his Melamed, and if it doesn’t help, he should retaliate and teach the boys a lesson; the Rebbe says “sometimes one also has to give a Potch.”


Thus, I request from you; first talk to the Melamed and the Menahel, tell them how your child is suffering from one of his classmates; this doesn’t mean the child who bullies is a bad child, he just hasn’t been taught yet that this isn’t the way to behave. Some children don’t realize what they are doing, until they feel the same treatment in return. If no one takes notice though, teach your child ‘self-defense’ etc. he should know how to protect himself, he shouldn’t become a victim for a bully השם ישמרינו.


May Hashem help us we shouldn’t have to use this method, but we must prepare our children to defend themselves and not let their spirits be crushed by anyone in the world.

#11 - BE CAREFUL THERE SHOULDN’T BE BULLYING BETWEEN YOUR TALMIDIM.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך – ערב שבת קודש פרשת משפטים, מברכים החודש, כ"ו שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…. Melamed in Talmud Torah Hichel Hakodesh Breslev


אשרי חלקך, that you are employed with such holy work. As a Kitah Alef Melamed you have the awesome opportunity and responsibility to teach your Talmidim the holy אותיות of the Torah and instill in them Yiras Shomayim.


Chazal relate (Yerushalmi Damai 7, 3): “Rebbi Yochanon saw a Melamed fasting and remarked: “It is forbidden for you to fast, for even a simple laborer is prohibited from fasting because he will be less productive and cause a loss for his employer, thus certainly you who is עוסק במלאכתו של הקדוש ברוך הוא  cannot fast, for you must have energy to teach your Talmidim”; we can see from this how Chashuv a Melamed’s work is, that he is working solely for Hashem.


I request from you to be vigilant that there not be a child in your class who bullies other children; H’avreich….. related that his son comes home from Cheder every day in fear of another boy in the class, to the point that he refuses to go to Cheder altogether. It is a Melamed’s responsibility to keep his eyes open and notice such behavior, that such things should Chas Vesholom not occur.


Thus, I ask you to speak to the boys that it is unacceptable to hurt other children or bully other children; they are still young – Kitah Alef, now is the time to be them Mechanech. Shlomo Hamelech states in Mishlei (22, 15): “A child is born with bad Middos and difficult natures, and it is our responsibility to Mussur and discipline them, they should learn the right way to behave.”


The path we must follow to raise our children must come from the holy Torah; unfortunately many people are influenced by foreign methods that don’t come from the Torah, instead they turn to therapists whose Hashkofos are far from Yiddishkeit and originate from the Goy; they believe that the right way of being Mechanech is that children are entitled to their every desire, and the parents enable them to get away with unsuitable behavior. We all know the outcome of this approach – the children grow up crippled and have a very hard time later in life.


Therefore, I beg you, imbue Middos Toivos into your Talmidim; tell them stories about the severity of hurting another child, and if a child uses his hands you should punish him etc. There are children who don’t realize that when they hit someone it actually hurts; such children sometimes must also receive a Potch to experience how it feels to be hurt.


Maharosh would relate, a woman once came to the holy Satmar Rebbe Zt”l and cried bitterly that her husband hits her, and rolled up her sleeve to show the Rebbe the marks from vicious behavior. The Rebbe immediately sent his Gabbai to summon the husband, and when he arrived, without any explanation the Rebbe took his cane and started striking him. The man cried out “What did I do that I deserve such treatment from the Rebbe?” The Rebbe replied “I believe you are not aware how if feels when you hit somebody; I want you to experience that Petch actually hurt.”


There are times when you have to give a child a taste of his own behavior; Chas Vesholom that a different child should have a fear of coming to Cheder; the Yingerman told me that his son is having a hard time with עברי since he is being bullied.


It brings me great pleasure that you come to Kollel in the evening to learn Halacha; you cannot imagine how much enjoyment it brings me, to see Talmidim after they get married sitting and learning the holy Torah.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#10 - CHILDREN MUST BE TAUGHT THAT CHUTZPAH IS NOT TOLERATED.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך – ערב שבת קודש פרשת משפטים, מברכים החודש, כ"ו שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


Fortunate for parents who seize the opportunity to be Mechanech their children while they are still young, for as soon as they turn older, they are far less receptive to being told how to behave. The younger children are, the more they absorb and listen.


Shlomo Hamelech states in Mishlei (13, 24): One who loves his child will rebuke him, and one who refrains from doing so when necessary hates his child.


Chazal elaborate (Medrash Shemos Raba 1, 1): One who isn’t Mechanech his child because he feels bad doing so, will eventually lose his children, and they will shun Yiddishkeit. As we learn from Avrahom Avinu, he saw his son Yishmoel playing with an Avodah Zorah, yet he said nothing, and later he had to chase him from his home to ensure he doesn’t destroy his brother Yitzchok.


The same also happened with Eisav: Yitzchok loved Eisav as we see in the Pasuk (Bereishis 25, 28): "ויאהב יצחק את עשו", and he refrained from Mussaring him, and we know the outcome – he grew up to be Eisav H’rasha. Chazal say (Bava Basra 16): “The same day Eisav sold the Bechurah to Yaakov, he transgressed on five grave sins; he sinned with a נערה המאורסה; he murdered a person; he doubted the existence of תחיית המתים; he doubted the existence of Hashem; and he scorned the Bechurah. What we can learn from this is, the importance of raising our children with Yiras Shomayim and Middos Toivos while they are young, so we will not regret the missed opportunities years later. It would be worthwhile for you to look up the Medrashim (Medrash Shemos Raba 1, 1; Tanchuma Shemos 1, 1), you will see a few more incidents Chazal relate, including what happened to Avsholom and Adoniyu, when Dovid Hamelech abstained from rebuking them when necessary.


The reason I’m writing this to you, is because I want to highlight a נקודה in Chinuch; I recently noticed your son hitting you and instead of reprimanding him, or giving him a Potch etc. for being so disrespectful, you chose to ignore him.


I want to bring to your attention that this isn’t the right response, and it may even be that I am at fault, because I repeatedly implore by my Shiurim the damage of hitting one’s children; on one hand Maharosh taught us to have patience and refrain from hitting our children, yet on the other hand, parents must realize that with Chutzpah, if a child hits his father or mother, they must discipline him and give him a Potch.


Maharosh recounted that when he was a Melamed he would never hit his Talmidim – except for Chutzpah; and I heard the same from Yingeleit who learned in Maharosh’s Yeshiva, he would only give a Potch if someone was a מחוצף. As Shlomo Hamelech says in Mishlei (23, 13) "אל תמנע מנער מוסר", you should not refrain from punishing your child, "כי תכנו בשבט לא ימות", no one dies from a spanking, "אתה בשבט תכנו", you should give him a Potch, "ונפשו משאול תציל", by doing so you will save him from Gehinnom.


I hope it isn’t too late already; your son is five years old; now is the time to tackle his difficult natures. If you allow him to continue like this, it will just be harder later on. This is a mistake many parents make; they don’t realize that they must be Mechanech their children while they are still young, as the Rebbe quotes (Sefer Hamiddos Ois Bonim): "צריך ללמד את התינוק דרך ארץ מנעוריו", one must teach his children Derech Eretz and Middos Toivos while they are young; a child must clearly understand that something a parent said is undisputable, and there is no place for arguments or explanations. If a child questions “why must I do so and so?” the answer is: “Because Totty or Mommy said so.” No reasons or justifications are necessary. If a child hits his father or mother one must discipline him properly, he should learn not to do it again.


May Hashem help you, you should only see Nachas from your children.

#9 - A MELAMED MUST WORK TOGETHER WITH THE PARENTS.
Chinuch, Melamed

בעזרת ה' יתברך – ערב שבת קודש פרשת משפטים, מברכים החודש, כ"ו שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…, Melamed in Talmud Torah Hichel Hakodesh Breslev.


It brought me great pleasure to test your students in Mishnayos this week; the children really knew the material well. One can see the efforts you invest in them, may Hashem repay you with Nachas from your children.


Regarding the child who doesn’t behave himself with respect; I would advise you to speak to his parents. Baruch Hashem the parents who are Talmidei Hichel Hakodesh only want to do רצון השם; they all follow the same path and want their children to be respectful. We all know that the most important foundation by the Rebbe was Derech Eretz, as the Rebbe once proclaimed ‘if the Royals would be aware of the Derech Eretz I teach my Talmidim, they would send me their children to learn Derech Eretz.” Therefore, speak to the child’s parents, they are very considerate, and they will certainly help you, and talk to their child to behave with more respect.


Likewise I also ask you; if my son ….. doesn’t behave with the utmost respect let me know; I want to raise my children to be Derech Eretzdik.


Make sure to tell the children stories of Tzaddikim daily; the holy Rebbe says (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 1, Siman 248) “You should know, that retelling stories of Tzaddikim is a very significant act, because when one hears a story of a Tzaddik, his heart is awakened to Hashem, and he then possesses a strong urge to also become a righteous person.”  When one sees what the Tzaddik achieved by triumphing over his Nisyonas, he gets the energy and ambition to also become a Tzaddik. Especially children, when they hear a story, they are motivated to emulate the Tzaddik.


May Hashem bless you with success in all your endeavors.

#8 - TEACHERS AND MELAMDIM MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO REPEAT WHAT THEIR STUDENTS TELL THEM.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- ערב שבת קודש פ' יתרו, י"ט שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs…


Thank you for your donation for the rent; in the merit of Tzedakah may you be blessed with success in everything you do.


You cannot imagine the significance of being a teacher, and imbuing in children Emunah, Tznius, and Middas Toivas. Fortunate for you on this world and the next.


Be careful not to reveal anything you hear in school; someone who teaches young children are privy to many secrets their students expose. Young children divulge everything; one discloses how their parents argue; another tells how they watch movies at home; one child shares how her mother grows her hair etc. etc. However, a teacher cannot repeat anything she hears, except to the principal. Or, send me a letter with the details, and we will know how to deal with it.


Regarding the story which occurred this week etc., I will speak to the parents, and make them aware to behave in a Tzniusdike fashion.


Once again, I thank you for everything you do for our children.

#7 - CHINUCH STARTS WHILE CHILDREN ARE STILL YOUNG.
Chinuch

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear….


Tonight is Chamishah Asar Bishvat, the time of year when the trees start sprouting.


We can learn many lessons from the trees, specifically because a person is compared to a tree. As the Torah states in Devarim "כי האדם עץ השדה".


When a tree is young and supple, it can still bend in any direction. If one realizes that it is growing in the wrong direction, it can still be straightened back. But when a tree is aged and sturdy nothing will be able to budge her. This shows us, the opportunity to be Mechanach our children is while they are still young; then it is easier to uproot their bad Middos.


There are parents who make the mistake that small children aren’t included in their responsibility of Chinuch; they say “when our children grow up, and are old enough to understand, then we will start with Chinuch.” However, this is a grave mistake, because many times it is then too late. If you delay being Mechanach your children while they are young, you will find yourself in a situation with no return. When children are young it is easier to teach them good Middos, and easier to teach them to behave and talk in a refined manner.


Another foundation in Chinuch starts with oneself. Children grow up according to what they see and hear by their parents. Chazal state (Succah 56:) "שותא דינוקא בשוקא – או דאבוה או דאימא", meaning, whatever a child says, is either because he heard it from his father, or his mother. Chinuch starts with the parents; the way they behave, that is how their children will too.


A father who Davens three times a day with Minyan, is indirectly teaching his children the importance of Tefilla, and can be sure his children will follow his example. If the father doesn’t Daven, he stays home and mumbles some words here and there, then his children will follow his example and shirk davening too. A tree’s fruit grows in accordance to how she was planted. Thus, from today onwards start going to Shul and Daven with Minyan, no matter the situation, whether you do have the passion for davening or not, if you do have Sholom Bayis or not, you go to Shul, and you can be sure your children will then too.


The same goes for your daughters, the way they see their mother conducting herself, that is the way they will later behave. Therefore, adults must be very careful with their behavior, since whatever they do will be emulated.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#6 - TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THE BEAUTY OF TZNIUS.
Chinuch, Tznius

בעזרת ה' יתברך- יום א פ' יתרו, י"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Mrs….


Today is Chamishah Asar Bishvat, the day of judgement for the trees. We can learn many things from a tree; take the fact that they start anew every year and provide fruit; even after going through an arduous winter season of rain and snow; come spring, they blossom to life and start giving off fruit. Likewise, we too must renew ourselves and start fulfilling.


The mother of the house is called the עקרת הבית – the foundation of the home. The responsibility and success of the entire household lies on her shoulders. If the mother is happy and uplifted, then her children are happy and healthy individuals. But if a mother is constantly irritable and short-tempered, then her children grow up deficient, with a lifelong anxiety. Therefore, a mother carries a great responsibility, she must always keep in mind that her children’s wellbeing is dependent on her.


Likewise, a child’s Yiddishkeit is also contingent on his or her mother; if a mother conducts herself with Yiras Shomayim, and is careful about her Tznius, then her daughters will also be modest. Chazal say (Medrash Tanchuma, Vayishlach 7) on the Pasuk (Bereishis 34, 1): "ותצא דינה בת לאה" – why is Dinah described as ‘the daughter of Leah’ not ‘the daughter of Yaakov?’ And they answer: because Leah went out on the streets. Dinah encountered problems only because she was imitating the actions of her mother, as it says "ותצא לאה לקראתו". Chazal cite "כאמה – בתה", like mother, like daughter. If a mother is careful not to go barefoot at home, and always have her legs covered, then her daughters will also conduct themselves modestly. But if a mother isn’t careful, then she shouldn’t be disappointed when her children grow up, and downgrade in Tznius.


Therefore, I beg you; strengthen yourself in Tznius. Daven to Hashem you should see the beauty of Tznius. Tznius isn’t a penalty, or unfair restrictions here to burden us; on the contrary, Tznius comes to show us our beauty, that our bodies are valuable, and that we are more than just animals without any morals. Animals don’t have clothing; and so too, the gentile nations, live without any dignity or morality.  We Yidden have self-respect; we know we are more than just animals; as the Pasuk refers to Klal Yisroel (Yechezkel 34, 31) “Hashem says ‘in my eyes you are considered people.’” And Chazal explain (Yevamos 61.) “You (Klal Yisroel) receive the title person, but the nations are not considered people”, (Yechezkel 23, 20) “They are comparable to the animals in the fields.”


When Avraham Avinu went to Akeides Yitzchok he told Yishmoel (Bereishis 22, 5) “I’m continuing with Yitzchak, and you remain here with the donkey.” Chazal elaborate (Kidushin 68.)   "עם הדומה לחמור"; they are akin to a donkey, because it makes no difference to them if they are clothed or not.


Baruch Hashem, we have a school where we teach the concept of Tznius with joy; the girls respect Tznius, and understand that Tznius is not ‘nebby’, and will not limit them; unlike many girls who unfortunately view Tznius as a punishment, or unfair restrictions on them. This is the underlying reason our daughters then seek to dress inappropriately; they never received the Chinuch that Tznius is the beauty and pride of a Jewish girl.


Thus, I request, value Tznius even though your children are still young, even young girls are obligated to dress and behave themselves in a modest fashion. Now is the time while you can still teach them. If they never heard it while they were young, they will ignore your pleas once they are older.


Take notice of what the tree teaches us, while it is still young and flexible it can be straightened and set right; children absorb what they are taught while they are still young; then when they grow older, they blossom, and bring the parents Nachas.


May Hashem help you succeed in everything you do.

#5 - THE IMPORTANCE OF A PRINCIPAL IN A GIRL’S SCHOOL.
Chinuch

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בשלח, י' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear Mrs.…., Teacher in Bais Faiga Breslev


I received your letter, and read it with great caution.


I’m sending you an excerpt from the קונטרס "א גוטע לערערין"; a beautiful publication Maharosh wrote, with guidance, and practical ideas how to succeed with students. Read it carefully and absorb the message it conveys.


It is crucial for a girl’s school to have a competent principal who should stand at the helm, and make sure every aspect is taken care of. If a principal is absent, then the entire school will fall into disarray, and will not succeed.


We are all aware that the mother is the "עקרת הבית" – the foundation of the home; her natural instincts are to upkeep her home and create a pleasant atmosphere therein. When her home is disorderly, she will clean and organize it; if laundry accumulates, she will wash it and put it away; when the sink is piled high with dishes, she will rinse them; and so on with every other household chore; she knows the responsibility falls upon her shoulders.


When one enters a home, and the place is a mess; a jumble of clothing, toys, and dirt are strewn across the floor; stacks of dishes are teetering in the sink; the surfaces are buried with clutter; then it is obvious that something is amiss. Usually such a scenario points to one thing: the "עקרת הבית"- the mother is absent. And when the mother isn’t home, and there is no one to take charge or take an interest in the success of the home, then such a structure can not be called a ‘home’.


Similarly, in a girl’s school, there must be a principal who takes charge. She must take the responsibility for every detail, and ensure the school is running smoothly. As soon as she is missing, and neglects her duties; the entire school will feel the effects; the respect for her will diminish, and everything is downhill from there.


On the other hand a principal is only human, and can also make mistakes; one can have valid complaints, and if one feels the principal’s actions are not right, then they should clarify to her, how she can fix her error.


Before one contacts a principal about any aspect, whether it is about a mistake she made; or about a problem in the school; they must be aware of the acceptable way to do it. The first thing to keep in mind is, it must be done in a private setting. No one except the principal and teacher should be privy to the exchange. One should not discuss it with others outside the school, for ex. family, friends, or different teachers; this could Chas Vesholom destroy the school. If there are differences in opinion between the teacher and the principal; over different subjects, or different methods, on any which issue; it must stay confidential between teacher and principal only.


Therefore, when discussing an issue, it would be the smartest approach to discuss it once school has ended; either once everyone has left the school; or on the phone in the evening; in a respectful manner they will certainly find a way to even out their differences.


The second thing to keep in mind is: the conversation must be with love and understanding from both sides. The teacher should calmly explain her concern, her handle on the issue, and what she thinks the right solution is. The principal should listen and acknowledge the teacher’s frustration; explain her side of things and work together for a resolution which will benefit them both, and benefit the students.


However, if a hatred develops between the teacher and principal; it will affect every other aspect of their relationship. As soon as there is a ‘rebellion’ of the teachers against the principal, a teacher has criticism against the principal, and she incites the other teachers against her, this can destroy the entire school.


Children can sense very well if trouble is brewing; they can automatically feel if the relationship between the teacher and principal changes, and they can discern if there is hostility between the two. When children see a principal and teacher lack respect for each other; or a teacher has criticism or complaints against the principal; they will follow suit, and also stop respecting their teachers. If a teacher can be disrespectful to the principal, then they certainly can too.


Therefore, this is a critical foundation in Chinuch, and must be the first priority in any school. There must be a capable principal who fulfills her duties, and takes the full weight of responsibility for the school. If there are grievances, they must be discussed in a respectful and private fashion. Both the children and the teachers must respect the principal, and only in this manner will the school be successful. The children who graduate will be Ehrlich, well behaved, and healthy individuals.


I hope you accept this letter with positivity; show it to all the teachers.


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#4 - THE IMPORTANCE OF CHINUCH.
Chinuch

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' בא, ג' שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Dear…


Put everything aside and go home to your children; this should be your first priority.


The holy R’ Nosson would say “the Chinuch of my children is as valuable to me as Tikkun Chatzos.” R’ Nosson had a strong desire to go to bed early, to enable himself to rise for Tikkun Chatzos. Once he had a household of children, he put everything aside, and dedicated himself to them. He would teach them Berachos, read krias Shema with them, and prepare Negel Vasser; all this would restrict him from going to sleep early, but to him this was just as important as his Tikkun Chatzos.


A child whose parents lovingly remind him to read Krias Shema daily, before going to sleep, will have an easier time to remember to say Krias Shema his entire life.


Remember despite their young age, children understand and absorb everything they see; if one wishes to merit Nachas, he must behave himself with Yiras Shomayim. A child who sees that his father is a sample of Yiras Shomayim, he prepares Negel Vasser before bedtime; he recites Krias Shema; he doesn’t raise his voice, or use coarse language, then he too will be Ehrlich. The child will then try to emulate his parents, and read Krias Shema, and prepare Negel Vasser, and always use refined speech.


Good night.

#3 - HOW FOOLISH IT IS, TO WASTE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, ON JUST A FEW HOURS.
Chinuch, Yiddish Gelt, Chasuna

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' שמות, י"ח טבת, שנת תשעט


Mrs……


Thank you for assisting with the chasunah in yeshiva; for organizing the chair, and beautiful flowers for the kallah. The guests couldn’t tell that these were fake flowers, and not fresh ones.


It’s terrible to see how wedding hall maintenance carelessly throw away expensive fresh flowers once a chasunah has ended, whilst the mechutanim haven’t yet figured out a way to pay for them. Therefore, thank you for arranging the flowers, which we can put away from one chasunah to the next.


I’m sure you witnessed the happiness at the chasunah; people can’t stop talking about It - how beautiful it was, and how foolish it is to waste thousands of dollars which one does not have, resulting in debt for the rest of their life. People came up to me and asked “what is lacking here? It’s so beautiful,” I replied “one thing is missing – חובות, debt.”


Thus, I thank you, and all the other woman from the kehillah, which made the simcha so special, so heimish, and with such a yiddishe chein. So many people pitched in to make this a reality; I have already written a letter to Mrs ……., to thank her for taking the pictures; my wife cooked the fish and potato kugels, Mrs …. Prepared the dips; I would appreciate if you could send me a list of everyone who helped, or prepared the food, so I can write them a personal thank you note. It is imperative to me, that we establish in our kehillah, what Maharosh taught us all these years.


Regards from your son ………, he conducts himself with yiras shomayim. I explained to him that he should cut off contact with ……..; he is an unhealthy yingerman which behaves inappropriately rachmana litzlon. It is important that he hear it from you too. He should sever all his ties with him and keep his distance.

#2 - IF ONE KEEPS IN MIND THE REASON FOR HIS EXISTENCE, HE FORGETS HIS SUFFERING
Chinuch, Krias Shema, Tefilin

בעזרת השם יתברך-יום ד', פ' משפטים,כ"ד שבט, שנת תשע"ט


Lekuvid....


How fortunate for us that we are aware of the holy rebbe, which constantly reminds us the reason for our existence in this world. That we should find time to do good deeds, because that is only what remains of a person, after 120.


During the times of R' Nosson z"l there was a big rebbe which lived in the city of Teplik. His chassidim would flock to him, each looking for help and guidance with his problems. One had issues with the poritz, another felt someone was stealing his livelihood, a third had problems with a goy etc. His approach was, to curse anyone who interfered with his talmidim. When R' Nosson was told about this he expressed himself "Gevald! To curse people the entire night? If he would only talk about tachlis- the real point of life, they would all  forget their hardships".


Therefore how lucky are we, that we merited to know of the holy rebbe and his talmidim, which remind us again and again to turn to Hashem. Like the Baal Tefillah proclaimed (sipurei maasos, story 12) "There is no other purpose on this world, except to serve Hashem".


Go to shul every day with tallis and tefillin, and take pleasure in the mitzvah of tefillin; here in shul we dance after davening every day with lively music, because this is our life, our happiness, that we merited another day with tallis and tefillin.


Take notice of your beautiful children, sing krias shema with them at night, and say berachos with them-this is avodas Hashem! The holy R' Nosson would say "the chinuch of my children is as important to me as tikkun chatzos" ; R' Nosson would go to sleep early, so he would be able to rise to tikkun chatzos, but as soon as he had a household of children, he would wait for them to come home from cheder, teach them to say berachos, and say krias shema with them. This world restrict him from going to bed early, but he would say, "this is just as important, as my avodah at chatzos".


May Hashem help you succeed in all your endeavors.

#1 - DON'T LET YOUR NESHUMA STARVE
Chinuch, Sholom Bayis, Mishnayos, Limud HaTorah, Gemoroh, מעביר סדרה

בעזרת השם יתברך-ליל ג' פ' ויחי, אור לי"א טבת, שנת תשע"ט


Lekuvid.....


Just imagine how famished your neshuma is when you fail to learn Torah...... Think of how you felt today when you fasted, you didn't have strength for anything, and all day your mind was focused on 'when can I break my fast already?' This is only when the גוף - the body fasts. In comparison when days and weeks go by, and the neshuma isn't fed and satisfied with Torah you cannot imagine how weak and exhausted the neshuma becomes.


Therefore I ask you, take a Chumash and be מעביר סדרה. Even though the custom is to refrain from learning mikra at night, if you learn it together with Rashi and Targum then it is permitted. Don't wait until Friday to finish the chumash, remember what our holy sages taught us "אל תאמר לכשאפנה אשנה, שמא לא תפנה" Don't say "when I'll have extra time and all will be settled, then I'll learn". NOW is the time to learn Torah.


You should continue with mishnayos - even if you don't understand the meaning, just say the words. Mishnayos has a great power to change a person 'מן הקצה אל הקצה' - even if a person is already trapped in his aveiros,  mishnayos can save him. The holy rebbe would say (sichas haran, siman 19) "even if a person is already lying in שאול תחתית, but he establishes a shiur for himself in mishnayos, and makes sure to learn כך וכך (a certain amount) every day, the koach of Torah will cleanse him and purify him.


Make sure also to learn a daf gemara. Our Sages z"l state (tosefta parah 4, 4) "רבי עקיבא אומר זמר בה תדירא - זמר", tzaddikim say this is an expression of severing, cutting off completely. When you learn Torah you sever all the קליפות that are created through your sins.


When you learn a daf gemara every day you merit to finish the entire shas after 7 years. We started learning shas 7 years ago, during the summer of 5772, iyh next year parshas vayigash we will finish the entire shas. We have already rented out the 'Crown Plaza Hotel' for shabbos vayigash 5780 in honor of the siyum. We will spend a beautiful shabbos together and celebrate the siyum hashas.


In Hichel Hakodesh it's not practical to celebrate every siyum;  someone who follows the 'seder derech halimud' - (the rebbe's directive of learning) could make a siyum every other day.... Even so, I want to make a special siyum hashas to encourage my talmidim to learn a daf a day. Maharosh quotes from the goan R' Sheftil z"l the son of the של"ה הקדוש, which he writes in his צוואה - (will) (at the end of sefer יש נוחלין) "learning a daf gemara every day is chiyuv just like tefillin".


Learn your shiur gemara at home; this will transform your home. When your wife will see you learning, she will respect you, and when your children will see it they will want to emulate you. Children naturally want to imitate their parents. If you learn, your children will learn, but if you spend your time playing with your phone, you can be sure your children will do the same.


I hope you read the letters I send you. Good night.