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#3 - THANK YOU FOR HELPING WITH THE CHASUNAH IN YESHIVA.
Nachas, Chasuna

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

 


בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' שמות, י"ח טבת שנת תשעט


Thank you for helping me establish the opportunity, for members of our kehillah, to marry off their children, without having to go into debt. Thanks to Hashem, this week we celebrated the fourth chasunah in yeshiva, free of charge.


It is self-understood that I would never have been able to accomplish this alone, only through the efforts of the kehillah and my devoted talmidim, were we able to make this a reality.


Therefore, a heartfelt thank you for sacrificing your precious time; I know the afternoon is a demanding time for a mother of small children, yet, you put it all aside to be present, and take pictures of the kallah and her family. May Hashem repay you with nachas from your children; and may Hashem help you find a good shidduch for your daughter ….., and merit to marry her off here in yeshiva, also at no cost.


Regards from your sons ……. and …….; they daven and learn well, but most importantly they behave themselves with respect.


Chazal cite (Shabbos 10:) הנותן מתנה לחבירו צריך להודיעו"”, when someone gifts someone with something, they should make sure the latter knows about it. Rashi explains “שמתוך כך יהא אוהבו,” through this one will generate love and goodwill. Chazal elaborate: that when one feeds another’s child, they should leave the child’s face dirty from the food they gave him, that when the child’s mother asks “why is your face unclean?” the child will explain that so and so fed him, and this will bring about appreciation and gratitude. Therefore, it is my duty to inform you how devoted I am to your …..; I treat him with love and patience, and I truly care for him. He will grow to be an ehrliche yid, and find a good shidduch iy"h.


Thank you.

#2 - HOW FOOLISH IT IS, TO WASTE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, ON JUST A FEW HOURS.
Chinuch, Yiddish Gelt, Chasuna

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פ' שמות, י"ח טבת, שנת תשעט


Mrs……


Thank you for assisting with the chasunah in yeshiva; for organizing the chair, and beautiful flowers for the kallah. The guests couldn’t tell that these were fake flowers, and not fresh ones.


It’s terrible to see how wedding hall maintenance carelessly throw away expensive fresh flowers once a chasunah has ended, whilst the mechutanim haven’t yet figured out a way to pay for them. Therefore, thank you for arranging the flowers, which we can put away from one chasunah to the next.


I’m sure you witnessed the happiness at the chasunah; people can’t stop talking about It - how beautiful it was, and how foolish it is to waste thousands of dollars which one does not have, resulting in debt for the rest of their life. People came up to me and asked “what is lacking here? It’s so beautiful,” I replied “one thing is missing – חובות, debt.”


Thus, I thank you, and all the other woman from the kehillah, which made the simcha so special, so heimish, and with such a yiddishe chein. So many people pitched in to make this a reality; I have already written a letter to Mrs ……., to thank her for taking the pictures; my wife cooked the fish and potato kugels, Mrs …. Prepared the dips; I would appreciate if you could send me a list of everyone who helped, or prepared the food, so I can write them a personal thank you note. It is imperative to me, that we establish in our kehillah, what Maharosh taught us all these years.


Regards from your son ………, he conducts himself with yiras shomayim. I explained to him that he should cut off contact with ……..; he is an unhealthy yingerman which behaves inappropriately rachmana litzlon. It is important that he hear it from you too. He should sever all his ties with him and keep his distance.

#1 - THE BEAUTIFUL CHUPPAH FOR THE CHASUNAHS IN YESHIVA.THE BEAUTIFUL CHUPPAH FOR THE CHASUNAHS IN YESHIVA.
Chasuna

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ד' פרשת שמות י"ח טבת שנת תשעט


Lekuvid my dear…… 


Thank you for the beautiful chuppah which you designed for the chasunahs here in yeshiva; it would be a good idea to install lights around the top, so that during the winter nights the area should be illuminated.


People keep asking me: “what is the meaning of the words embroidered on the chuppah ‘I have achieved and triumphed, and I will continue to do so’?” (איך האב אויסגעפירט און איך וועל אויספירן) People think that it is some sort of insult, to the extent an individual came to tell me that someone was affronted by it.


This reminds me of a story. Someone once came to the Rav of the city and demanded a din Torah with so and so who embarrassed him publicly. During the din Torah the Rav investigated and asked “so how was it that he embarrassed you?” the accuser answered “the defendant walked into shul and proclaimed loudly: “by the time I count to three, the fool here must leave!” and he continued “I immediately left the place, and now I want compensation for my humiliation”. The Rav smiled and answered “he didn’t embarrass you, you embarrassed yourself! Who asked you to be the one to leave the shul?”


Reb Nosson z”l relates (Chai Maharan, 229) “I asked the Rebbe (before the Rebbe left the world) ‘what will become of all the teachings and פעולות, the Rebbe still wants to achieve?” The Rebbe turned to the crowd of people around him and asked “do you hear his question?” then went on to proclaim “have I not carried through already? I have achieved and I will eternally continue to do so!”


We see literally every day – the Rebbe has won. Gradually the entire world is starting to see the Rebbes light, everyone has heard of התבודדות -talking to Hashem. The seder derech halimud, the Rebbes directive of learning is being practiced all over, bochurim and yingeleit from all walks of life say Mishnayos and dafim Gemara. This was the Rebbes goal, everyone no matter his status or background should daven and learn.


Take the chasunah in yeshiva as an example, what better proof do you need, to see that the Rebbes vision and teachings are being fulfilled? People are marrying off their children while they are still young and pure; this is what the Rebbe meant with “נצחתי ואנצח.”


May Hashem help us raise our children in good health, and may we merit to marry them off while they are still young, without any calculations for kavod etc. only to always have their best interests on our minds.