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#1 - A BACHUR MUST BE HAPPY.
Simcha, Bochur

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Answer from the Rosh Yeshiva Shlit"a

בעזרת ה' יתברך-יום ג' פרשת תרומה, א' דר"ח אדר א', שנת תשע"ט


Dear… Talmid of Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah.


I received your letter.


Try with all the strength you possess to be happy, for the key to a successful person is positivity. The Rebbe states (Sefer Hamiddos, Ois Simcha): “Whoever is always happy, leads a successful life.”


Especially now that you have reached the stage of Shidduchim, you certainly must work to be happy, and always greet people with a smile. The first thing one wants to know by a Shidduch is, if the Bachur or girl is healthy, and they don’t suffer from mental illness. This information is readily available on someone’s face; if someone is always relaxed and has a smile on their face then it is an indication they are a healthy person, but if someone is constantly upset, and walks around with a frown, it could be a sign that there is something going on in his mind, for ex. anxiety etc. Hashem Yishmereinu. The Rebbe states (Likutei Maharan, Chelek 1, Siman 23): “When a person is depressed and there is a cloud of gloom hanging over his head, it is a sign that the סטרא אחרא have triumphed over him; they make sure his face shows signs of hopelessness and misery, and on such a person the Pasuk in Shemos (20, 2): "לא יהיה לך אל-הים אחרים על פני" is applied.”


Thus, I request from you to always be happy; if you try with all your might you will succeed to escape from your misery and depression and find a Shidduch; no one is interested to marry a Bachur who is miserable, girls want a happy boy.


Don’t waste your time; utilize your years to learn Torah. Learn the holy Gemara, Daf after Daf, even if you can’t comprehend what you are learning, say the words even without understanding. The Rebbe gave us the gift of the Seder Derech Halimud (Sichas Haran 76); take no notice of those who ridicule it, because one day we will see who the laughingstock is. Give it a few years and you will have learned hundreds of pages of Gemara, and those who scorned and joked about it will not have even opened their Gemaras.


May Hashem bless you with success in everything you do.